(I have no idea why I am reminded of the Sound of Music, but there you go.)

More work related praise today... again noting because my inclination is to dismiss it and just at this point in development I feel it's likely important not to do that. However uncomfortable I feel about taking credit or bragging.

Produced a very solid procedure for a difficult process that describes a significant amount of cat herding required. Am pleased that I've managed to produce something that the ED wanted and that she was impressed enough to tell my boss. Who told me.

Am still kind of blinking in surprise about this.

Also, realised that this is the first opportunity I've had to work with other BAs - only one other here at the moment, but am really excited. We're going to have lunch soon and talk. Am far more excited about this than may seem reasonable at first glance :P

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/850550.html

Where am I? work Feeling... pleased Compelled listening... "Shine" - Vienna Teng Define... # achievement, competency, job stuff

My boss made a point of mentioning to me today that I was the first and only person that he'd *appointed* to our project team. This isn't the only way he's appreciated my skills or experience, but it was clear that he was trying to convey to me that he considered me a real asset to the team.

I guess that's unique in a work sense. I like the feeling. If everything goes well for this piece of work I'm doing at the moment, I may get a pay rise out of it, which will bring me up to my preferred hourly rate.

In part the money is important (I really don't like accepting less as a principle while I build my skills for negotiation and experience etc), but it's also the fact that my work is good enough to warrant this, even after only a couple of weeks.

It's probably clear that I'm a bit bewildered and surprised by this, and I almost didn't mention it and then I noticed that I didn't know what to make of it and figured that maybe I could start with acknowledgement and feeling just a little bit proud of myself....

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/850348.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... pleased Compelled listening... "The Tower" - Vienna Teng Define... # achievement, job stuff, work

Over at The Conversationalist: Renewal Revisited: The Halfway Point.

Renewal has been awesome to me so far :) I can scarcely recognise myself!


(Comments preferred over on the post itself)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/849998.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Resistance" - 2Cellos

There are those of you whom via blogs and real life have prodded me occasionally to write about relationships. I've held off for ages because I think it's really very individual an experience. However, it's also something I've invested an immense amount of time and energy in and perhaps that is useful or interesting to some of you?

So, my post On relationships... is up over at The Conversationalist.

Feel free to leave me comments there if you've been trying to get me to talk about something in this arena for a while, I'm open to doing so at this point so take advantage :)

(Comments preferred over on the post)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/849630.html

Where am I? home Feeling... loving Compelled listening... "Glitter in the air" - Pink Define... # love, making a difference, relationships, sharing

I haven’t done a proper update in a while and so this is where I’m at currently.

My new job is going well, and I’m noticing and appreciating the difference in my skills and experience and being in a position to apply them. One of the things I did last week was some preliminary work on developing a test strategy for an aspect of data migration, but after three days I was basically able to conceptually understand it well enough to be confident that *me* doing the work would be a terrible idea. Reporting back to my boss on that level not from a sense of failure but where I was clear that it was a bad idea for the project and thus the programme (I am working in the Programme Office). My ability to organise, facilitate and communicate things is well appreciated here. Currently I’m on a three month contract, but I am hoping that it will be ongoing.

Study is proceeding extremely well bar these past two weeks where returning to work has slugged me and I’ve fallen behind on classwork as well as the final assignment – my report on the research I’ve been conducting on poly and representations in television fandom. I also have a tech issue which I’ll get to in this post in due course, but it’s affecting my timing for things as well. *flails*

As for next semester and my original plan to finish my degree with one intensive semester, I’ve rethought that. I was going to be doing 3 units and finish my degree next semester, however I think that given my shift in priorities recently, that this is not a great plan and I should instead let it stretch out and do one maybe two units per semester and finish either in the first half of next year or at the end of 2013. This has a few benefits and the cost I think is something I can live with. Firstly, it was always going to be hard to get through, but with my shift in priorities and timing, it will be nigh impossible and certainly drastically more unhealthy than it would have been otherwise (and that was always a factor). Also, it will give me time to concentrate on growing my BA experience and career stuff, so that I can enjoy some reliable income for the first time in the past few years. Thirdly, it will allow me to take my time considering Post Grad options and institutions which I’d welcome at this point.

I’m delightfully busy at the moment, and while I don’t have an ‘ordinary’ as such right now, my priorities help with the sense of ordinary that is not a particular schedule of days and times and things (save work). Mainly, it’s a reflection of being in a new relationship dynamic which is essentially the growing of three new relationships (the individual person to person dynamics and the entity relationship plus, support to the existing relationship as an additional partner). I’m still deliriously happy and giddy with this new dynamic… Ral and Fox are *wonderful* people and I’m continually delighted by them and time spent with them. There’s something really special being created here… and I’m just loving it. It’s exactly what I’ve been seeking and it’s sometimes difficult to convince myself that it’s all real.

I’m enjoying the busyness I have currently as it’s around spending time with partners and… that’s so unusual and delightful for me. Scheduling (and distance/location factors) are not on the side of Ral, Fox and myself, but we’re doing the best we can – Ral having nightshift on the midweek nights plays havoc with seeing each other between times at all though, and 3-4 days is a small amount of time to enable quality and social time with each other in some ways, but we manage by doing the best we can to support and make it work for each other. Unexpectedly, I’ve also gotten to spend more time with Hipikat of late and that is truly a joy, plus our relationship is growing and shifting as well and that is something that is especially precious and profound for me. It involves a lot of acknowledgement of my growth and actively being brave and stepping into new spaces and experiences. That I can is in part thanks to Ral and Fox.

It really comes down to this… This is all so very precious to me, I am deeply grateful beyond simple words. I am enjoying and nurturing this with everything I am. What’s wonderful is that the energy is not just an outpouring from me, but inrushing to me as well. I am moving in abundance and potential and promise… joy and so much love.

More down to earth and less with the fluffy and giddy… I am buying a car this week, it is badly hail damaged and needs the shock absorber replaced and a new rim and tyre, but it is a very good opportunity. Car is $600 and getting it on the road again with all the bits done should be between $500-$1k overall, though expectation is that it will be on the lower end of that. It’s a 2002 corolla and is a dark blueish colour. Apparently it looks like a golf ball having been hail damaged on most of the panels :P I’m not overly fussed about the appearance, though am pleased that it’s not white. In any case, it looks to be a very good first car which I’m pleased about. Only downside is that it’s an automatic and I’m still hoping to get my manual license. However, I can either upgrade my license later and just concentrate on getting it first of all, or I can keep doing lessons in a manual and get the manual license – either will work for me. I’ll lend it to Ral for general use and so he can organise to have Things Done to it, and that will be useful for him as he has his motorbike and not a car at present, and he prefers to avoid riding his bike too much in the wet.

My laptop has been limping more and more lately and in trying to encourage it to keep the backlight on, on Saturday evening I was a bit too forceful in my encouragement and the screen cracked :( I am a very sad panda about this as I’m not *quite* able to get a new machine yet. Hoping that I can make it through by using a screen and keyboard for a while… I was going to be looking at getting an ordinary laptop again, but I’m now thinking that an ultrabook may be more my style, that I won’t necessarily need the 8gB ram that I was aiming for in my next machine if it’s using the solid state drive and has the most advanced processor I can afford. I’ll wander back in to JB hi-fi and see what I think of it all. If the ultrabook performs, then it will be a distinct advantage to me given I move around with my laptop an *awful* lot.

That’s pretty much up to date, I want to post about the media I’ve seen recently but will do that in a separate post I think.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/848041.html

Where am I? work Feeling... happy Compelled listening... "The Saltwater Room" - Owl City Define... # driving, job stuff, laptop, love, relationships, sharing, study, university, updateyness

* New job is going well so far, yay for being a business analyst and getting to contribute and expand my knowledge. Boss is delightfully non territorial which is kind of unique in government.

* Movies with Ral and Fox, dinner and snuggling. Loveliness incarnate.

* Breakfast with samvara, has been too long and oh the way it feels to just bask in the presence of someone you completely love. So much joy.

* Dinner with dear friends and delightful sexy fun without any seriousness at all, so lovely.

* Study... oh I need to concentrate on that in the coming days, but at least I have a great deal of incentive. Still hoping to get some broader responses to my survey on television fandom and polyamory (see one of my recent entries for the link), but if I don't I've got basically enough to proceed. Have been doing textual analysis and ignoring class work. That will bite me this week, but I will deal.

* Cooking, have been enjoying that again!

* Am looking forward to income again, having hot water again and replacing my laptop with something that isn't about to imminently die... also perhaps buying a car.

* Have drafted and am sitting on a blog post about relationships. A bunch of you have been asking me for a long time now if I would do so and I am thinking maybe I have my head around how to perhaps go about it in a way that doesn't make my teeth hurt. If you have something in particular you've been wanting me to talk about I'm interested in hearing about it and talking about it. I have a few things in this series of blog posts that I'm planning on covering, but I'm interested in responding to what people want to hear in particular. I'll be posting these over at The Conversationalist for those of you who are interested. But, as usual I'll link it here.

Details are for not now, now is for snuggling.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/847655.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # dot points, job stuff, relationships, study, updateyness

So with the job and money stress looking imminently solved, and being clear about where I'm at with moving... and enjoying the space of my new relationship dynamic....

It feels like all the little pieces are falling into place.

I'm relishing any little moments I can spend in person or talking with Ral and Fox, and the exchange is always fruitful. On nights where Ral is resetting his sleep patterns for nightshift, we can easily and quite unintentionally lose a chunk of the night to talking about things. I am loving that.

And all the things I'm unsure of, all the things I'm hopeful for, all the ways in which I've wondered and worried if I was dreaming to want to do or try things...

I have all the support and care in the world. And they understand and appreciate when I share the meta in my head about it all. They'll share their own unformed or nebulous thoughts about things, and getting to see that creation/progression trying-out-ness is heady indeed.

To be responsible in part for bringing amazing experiences to people, to enriching their lives when all you can think about is how grateful you are for being the same for you is... unbelievable. I'm not going to tire of this any time soon...

Not only am I enjoying the space of being really happy, and happy in ways I haven't been able to enjoy for a long time (and in a few aspects, as far back as I can remember), but I'm enjoying the growingness that is happening too - I'm not at a standstill, I'm breathing in Gianthood and breathing out inspiration and space-making, joy-bringing and love/life-sharing.

It's like when I blink I can in that tiny fractional moment... experience the whole universe. Fleeting and then it is gone, but it is humbling in that second.

Renewal... this year's theme so far has been so rewarding and all the things that I'm seeing come out of it are welcome and wonderful.

It's interesting, that experience where all the hard work and time you've dedicated is paying off... and I'm not sure how to process it, so I'm kind of just experiencing it and being profoundly grateful. And being open to spaces where work could be beneficial (and I have taken on one of these already).

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/847506.html

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # balance, life, love, making a difference, relationships, self analysis, transcendence

I've been so excited about moving to Melbourne, and I still am. When I was in Melbs in November and February the world was whispering to me 'now, now... the time is now'. And I listened. And I made plans.

And now I'm changing my plans.

I'd already realised that I needed to delay my move to earn some money, replace our hot water system and also replace my laptop (not to mention save). But about the same time as I was having that realisation... I connected with Ral and Fox.

Casual sexy fun and sharing of happiness has become an acknowledged dating relationship... I somehow inexplicably have new boyfriends and get to be a girlfriend. I can't quite get over that - it's so unexpected, and completely delightful.

And as it so happens... this arrangement is so much of what I've been seeking and hoping for in a new relationship for a few years now (at least 3-4, and more if I am super honest). There is so much time and availability on offer, so much touch and snuggling, lots of shared cuteness and schmoopy shared moments. So very different from any of my other partnerships and as a result, enriches the whole magnificent galaxy of relationships I have.

Part of my reasoning for moving to Melbourne was in the hope of finding better relationship balance, getting more of what I needed - more touch and cuddles, more sexuality and exploration and more availability with spending time in person. These were really good reasons - they still are.

I'm still really looking forward to building and nurturing my Victorian relationships, that's still really important to me and is a key reason why I still want to move to Melbourne. But I'm not moving immediately.

I'm choosing to wait because it doesn't make sense or feel right to run away from this wonderful new trio dynamic so soon after finding it. I want to enjoy it and nurture it and see what is possible. I can feel so much potential and exploring that, giving it space and time is important to me.

Currently I plan to revisit the decision in September ish. I still want to move and a Melbourne move for the boys is possible too, but in the mean time... I have what I've wanted after so long, right here in Perth. So for the time being... I'm going to stay.

I estimate that I'm still likely to get to Melbourne to live sometime over the next twelve months. We shall see :)

Being in the giddy and fluffy stage of a new relationship is just the best, I love this part and am revelling in the shared experience of delight between the three of us, and also with my other partners who are appreciating my new-found happiness and contentment.

I also spoke about it with my Mum yesterday and she's similarly happy for me. She's so supportive and lovely about anyone significant to me that I mention. She doesn't understand my being poly, she doesn't really get it, but she is content to simply love me as best she can and be supportive of what makes me happy. This includes being wonderful to any partners she meets etc... I'm so grateful and appreciative that even though there are thus far no other queer people in my family, that my Mum makes an awesome parent to a queer person :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/846907.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... loved Compelled listening... "If I Had You" - Adam Lambert Define... # love, melbourne, moving forward, perth, poly, polyamory, relationships, sharing

So! I have been given the go ahead to post my survey for my research project. I'm looking at representations of poly and multiple relationships in television fandom. So, if you're interested in helping me out I'd love it if you'd consider filling out the survey if you find that you fit the criteria I'm seeking. (I would love to do much broader research in this area at some point, however right now I must concentrate on television fandom for assignment purposes.)

What I'm hoping to explore in my research is why people like to read or write polyamory in their fanfic in conjunction with how poly fanfic is one of the only places it is easy to find interesting and varied representations of poly lifestyles and relationships that are normalised and not sensationalised for a monogamous gaze. The survey is a component of my research where I'll also be undertaking some textual analysis and some interviews.

Link to survey:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GGZKCJS

Please feel free to pass this along to any other people you think might be interested in filling it in. Also, if you have any queries, let me know.

(Crossposting and passing on of this information is welcome).

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/846769.html

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # fandom, making a difference, poly, polyamory, research

I don't know how to write this entry. I've thought about it numerous times, and it hasn't come about. Also, loved ones are having a difficult time, and I always struggle to share happiness at these times, but... this is significant enough that I will do so while wishing my loved ones who are struggling immense love and gentleness.

And there are so many things I want to share! Most of which I probably won't right now... there is so much that is precious and hard to speak words to for that reason.

But really, it comes down to a profound sense of happiness, a sense of pure liquid joy that is sparkling through each of my moments.

I am giddy from smiling. All the time. I am replete in ways I don't remember feeling, actually.

The why is quite simple, entirely unexpected and an incredible blessing.

I've started dating an incredibly lovely guy couple that I know through hipikat, and although it's been less than a month, there is something special to be explored and enjoyed. And we're all three of us doing just that...

There is an abundance of affection, time, attention, snuggling and sensuality, kisses and sexuality available... the oh-so-specific gap that I've felt grating at me and the perfection of my other relationships is gone. I just can't stop smiling to think of them, smiling when I'm with them, can't wait to see them and the joy truly takes flight in the fact that their experience is similar with me.

( cut for gushing and length )

I marvel and am so grateful that, this is my life. I'm so in love with my life.

This post is entirely about the joy, I'll talk about related things like moving and share some lovely memories with you later.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/846344.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... "Come Away With Me" - Norah Jones Define... # joyful, love, moments to remember, poly, polyamory, relationships, sharing, transcendence

Greetings lovelies,

Those of you who have been waiting oh so patiently for the Veducci to arrive, it has done so!!

Yay!

I'm retrieving it tonight :)

So, if you'd like to prod me to make catchup plans so that I can pass things along to you, feel free :)

Also if you wanted to take a look at the clothing and wanted to come visit for tea or some such you're welcome to do that too.


I promise I'll do a real life update soon, I just don't quite know where to start right now.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/846087.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... chipper Compelled listening... nil

I've blogged about authenticity, and how the world makes it's mark on you and the importance of honouring that.

(Prefer comments there than here)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/845805.html

Where am I? home tucked into my blue chair Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... nil Define... # thoughtful

I think I had the idea that I was going to be able to blog as the con went - and I managed a bit of that. However, as usual, the event itself swept me up into its awesome and I didn't get a chance to do so after a certain point.

So, this is the remainder of my report, less chronological and more about the wonderful things that I want to remember and share.

( cut for length )

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/845442.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, conversations, love, making a difference, sensuality, sharing, swancon

it's still a little wonky and I'll still be taking it to the shop but, I am at least now contactable.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/845079.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... thankful Compelled listening... nil

So, I mentioned a promise to blog a bunch of things yesterday. So, if I told you that I'd do it, please remind me of what I promised to blog so that I have an easy list to come back to next week :)

And thus it will be more likely to happen more quickly :D

Short review of yesterday is that it was wonderful and magical in that I got to spend most of it in the company of moonvoice and azhure, callistra joined us for a bunch of it and it was just incredible to hang out and spend time together. Especially when we've wanted to for so very long. It meant the world to me.

Also, dinner with Marianne and Helga was intimate and special, our tiny trio of catching up and getting ready for the masquerade together.

azhure came back as a panellist (first panel ever!) for the Paranormal Romance panel, with myself callistra and prk (with Damian Magee joining in last minute too). I thought it went very well and that we had some fun talking about particular authors and pieces, and spent most of the time talking about the convergence of the paranormal and romance and the different ways that can look. There were some good recommendations too.

Time to go and rejoin the fun now that I've scraped through with my five hours of sleep (I have not managed this yet over the con and went into it sleep deprived from study). I am wishing desperately for a massage as my body has turned into chunks of achey concrete, but have had a bath and pain killers and a quick massage from the boys this morning, and that will have to do.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/845036.html

Where am I? Hotel room Feeling... tired Compelled listening... "Moonlight" The Piano Guys Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, moments to remember, spending time, swancon, transcendence

So the day has been mostly awesome, with a tiny bit of badness.

First the bad - like a bandaid, ripping it off. My waterbottle leaked in my bag. Which is a Crumpler bag and thus holds water. So, my phone went swimming :( It's not working and currently in a bag of rice dehydrating (currently the symbol for love is a bag of rice, which hipikat a) had and b) provided for me to use for my phone because he is all kinds of wonderful, he also provided hugs and commiserations about it too which was welcome). We'll see how it is tomorrow, or I'll go to the Virgin shop on Saturday. So, it goes without saying that calling me is impossible at present and email is better. Still not great cos I'm at a con :P

That said, if you're looking for me, it shouldn't be too difficult to find me, someone is likely to have seen me or I'll be hovering near by to Marianne as I'm providing guest support to her this year. (As friends this suits us marvellously!).

Now the good!

First of all, I'm really glad that Marianne de Pierres is finally a Swancon guest. She's a marvellous guest and was brilliant back when I ran Fandomedia in 2006. I am actually delightedly smug that I got to have her as a guest first and that she's gone on to do such marvellous things, win well deserved awards and meet and work with incredible people. She's an ambitious woman in her career and yet deeply kind hearted as well. She'll be a marvellous guest and I'm looking forward to providing support to her.

Second of all, everything seems to have come together really well! I haven't unpacked my conbag yet but it's *full* of goodies! Lots of books :D

Thirdly, the first half of my panel with halibut3some and originalnilson went marvellously. As usual even though we kept to pretty strict time limits we were rushed toward the end :P But still, we got to talk movies and in delightedly unexpected ways Tom and I were much more in agreement than usual. I was especially impressed by his review of Sucker Punch. As always I hadn't seen as many of the movies - but as a student and working it's to be expected and I try and do a homework batch of watching before Swancon, and I've gotten through a lot this year that way (more than I usually do), and yet as usual there are just so many movies :P Looking forward to the second half on Monday.

Fourthly, (this is not in chronological order, just in case you wondered), the Safe Spaces panel went really well, I wasn't a panellist this year but those who were did marvellously. Topics covered including reviewing old ground that nowhere is completely safe, but the idea behind safe spaces is being able to set and have boundaries set with you and having the tools to be kind and gracious in that process. It covers the fact that everyone messes up in small ways and sometimes larger ways, but how you engage makes all the difference and there's a lot of room to make right.

We also covered concern trolling, the kind that is derailment supposedly about an issue that is much more important than the discussion you've started. The other main kind being the having a serious conversation with you about your health/something personal ostensibly (and usually with genuine good intentions) expressing concern, but actually just being rude/inappropriate or nosy. Concern trolling sometimes masquerades where people are can also be making genuine enquiries, making an effort to engage but unintentionally coming across in a way that is either derailing or unintentionally offensive. There are also people who just feel that they get to judge and ply their opinion wherever they go. Again, emphasis on looking after yourself in those interactions and knowing it's not your responsibility to have the conversation, but also discussing how it could be approached if you wished. Again, emphasis on kindness, graciousness but also on strength in how you engage.

We discussed the way in which people interact and when hitting on people ways of doing so that are, less like the elevator situation at the sceptic convention that's been around the internet. Namely, don't talk to someone for the first time, hit on them in the elevator at 4am when they're heading back to their room. Basically, even recognising that it can require immense bravery to go and talk to the cool person you admire, but it's not a great idea to corner them in a space where they can't opt out of the interaction. Also, don't invite them to have sex first before you engage with them as a human being. Generally speaking.

It went really well, people made great comments and gave good examples, asked interesting questions. Felt rewarding. I always like to think of these conversations which are really 'communication 101 and 102' as moving concepts that start in the room where we discuss stuff and move outwards into the rest of the human conversation space in this locality. And then beyond. The idea is about building better communication skills, awareness and a shared language that involves understandings of boundaries and respect in a more practical way. I love being part of that experience (even if I wasn't a panellist this year, it doesn't mean I'm less committed, intent or involved, just less out front about it).

Fifthly, we had dinner of awesome Indian food at the Sky Cafe down the road from the hotel and it was *yummy*. Will have to eat there again over the weekend I think.

Sixthly, friends! Socialising! Enjoying lovely people's company and including introducing new people to others and trying to make them feel welcomed. I really enjoy that part of being part of Swancon and generally having a broad knowledge of who people are.

Seventhly, I got to have a quiet cup of tea with Marianne today where we just sat and caught up and spent some time - we don't get that many quiet moments where there's an hour or two just to enjoy each other's company so it was especially lovely. Likely to remain one of my favourite moments of the con.

Lastly, I stayed up to watch cupidsbow's vid panel which was awesome. New vids, old favourites and even one of her own! Which I count immensely successful as a showing given that I was delighted by the prospect of an 'Angelicar' existing for Castiel in Supernatural. And now I want Castiel and Angelicar fic.

Now, I'm drinking tea, thinking *dry* thoughts at my phone and am winding down for bed. But first apparently I needed to blog :P

I also want to blog about recent achievements - there have been a few, but that can be tomorrow or next week :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/844795.html

Where am I? Hotel room Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "No One Makes It On Her Own" - Roxette (Charm School) Define... # amazing friends, fun, movies, social, swancon

Not too bad, but didn't get through everything. So, updates:

* Do readings for Professional Communication unit from last week.
* Listen to lecture for Professional Communication from last week.
* Listen to lecture for Media Audiences and the Public from last week.
* Do readings for Professional Communication for this week (and as it turns out, last week)
- half done. Did last weeks, started on this week's.

* Listen to lecture for Professional Communication for this week.
* Finish readings for Media Audiences and the Public for this week.
Somehow I managed to do this! Urgh with media effects readings. 2009 article has no excuse for using 'the models of mankind' where they mean 'people/humans' in general :/ The other article was just as irritating but less easy to put my finger on why - examples generally seemed very stereotypical and while there was lots of evidence I don't think the writer (and I assume he) said much about the examples and intended them to be 'obvious'.
* Listen to lecture for Media Audiences and the Public for this week.
* Watch Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1) in preparation for my panel.
* Watch Sourcecode in preparation for my panel.
* Watch Limitless in preparation for my panel.
To do between now and Monday!
* Try and make notes about the movies I've watched in the last year for my panel for easy recall.
Half done. Ready for tonight's movies.
* Prod other panellists for Lost Girl panel and find episode synopsis website so that we can recall stuff easier to talk about re sexy instead of sexist.
* Buy cereal and milk for breakfasts, and sandwich makings for lunch for Swancon.
In progress but I've done my bit and can count it done. I have awesome fresh coffee for grinding for the con. Also looseleaf tea.
* Make a fruitcake and crispy chick pea snacks for Swancon.
hahaahaha, no time for this, it won't get done. Though I still want to make the crispy chick peas generally speaking
* Buy cheese and chocolate nibbles for Swancon.
I'm counting this done too as I bought chocolate and K and Cam will get the cheese.
* Do laundry for Swancon.
* Pack for Swancon.
* Double check all my calendar entries for me and Marianne whom I'm minding over the con.
* Try and get up to date with Lost Girl and White Collar before Swancon.
* Listen to more awesome cello music because apparently I can't get enough.

Bold are things I'm still planning to do. Comments where applicable, strike through items are done with :)

Feeling pretty accomplished so far :D

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/844377.html

Where am I? Hotel room Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Michael Meets Mozart" - The Piano Guys Define... # achievements, swancon

* Do readings for Professional Communication unit from last week.
* Listen to lecture for Professional Communication from last week.
* Listen to lecture for Media Audiences and the Public from last week.
* Do readings for Professional Communication for this week.
* Listen to lecture for Professional Communication for this week.
* Finish readings for Media Audiences and the Public for this week.
* Listen to lecture for Media Audiences and the Public for this week.
* Watch Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1) in preparation for my panel.
* Watch Sourcecode in preparation for my panel.
* Watch Limitless in preparation for my panel.
* Try and make notes about the movies I've watched in the last year for my panel for easy recall.
* Prod other panellists for Lost Girl panel and find episode synopsis website so that we can recall stuff easier to talk about re sexy instead of sexist.
* Buy cereal and milk for breakfasts, and sandwich makings for lunch for Swancon.
* Make a fruitcake and crispy chick pea snacks for Swancon.
* Buy cheese and chocolate nibbles for Swancon.
* Do laundry for Swancon.
* Pack for Swancon.
* Double check all my calendar entries for me and Marianne whom I'm minding over the con.
* Try and get up to date with Lost Girl and White Collar before Swancon.
* Listen to more awesome cello music because apparently I can't get enough.

Hmm... I should also do a blog about music I've picked up lately.

But for now I leave you with my to-do list

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/844201.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... lecture 1/4 Define... # study, swancon

I've handed it in! I'm confident that I did a good job, know I went overboard but apparently my only models for how to do this are for post grad theses etc, and so... it's kind of made in that image, but with less skill and experience, and over about two weeks as opposed to a year. So note that I'm not actually making a like/like comparison, just that the models I was drawing from were much more professional and bigger/comprehensive than I had the time or ability to produce. That said, I am sure I did a good job. Hopefully good enough for a distinction mark.

And the research part next! How exciting!

I'm going to be looking at audiences for television who are also participants in fandom. I'm researching representations of polyamory in television fandom in the fanfiction medium.

I've proposed to do a survey, a textual analysis and a couple of personal interviews in order to put together my research.

What I'm hoping to explore is that thing around being able to see reflections of yourself and your life in the culture and art around you. That's really quite rare for poly (and I'm being generous by saying that), except in fandom where there is a plethora of various fanworks all playing with and depicting, telling stories about poly.

I think that might have something worth exploring as a means of exploring poly in a sense of 'the ordinary' where the gaze is not by and for monogamous people (lovely as you are) but also includes the gaze from and for polyamory/other ethical non-monogamy.

I'm looking forward to the exploration in any case :)

My very first original research project! Yesterday was the day for being *done* with it. But then R via facebook was delighted and bouncy at me - namely that I'd inspired her regarding talking about interesting stuff with passion, and it renewed my delight and enthusiasm in the whole project. So yay!

Now that I've produced my first ever proposal, and first ever 'serious' lit review... I feel like I've undergone some kind of rite of passage.. .it feels kind of nifty.

But I have to express some particular thanks too: To hope I wish to shower you in cupcakes forever because without your patience and handholding and support, I never would have gotten through the past couple of weeks! Also to challyzatb and rhyll for resources and support, much of the cupcakes in your directions also. Plus to friends and people I live with who fed me, walked me and reminded me to sleep. Thank you.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/843913.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... grateful Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, culture, fandom, learning, polyamory, research, study, university

The Australian Human Right's Commission is offering the opportunity for people to do short term (6 week) hosting for asylum seekers in transition.

I think this is a program with immense potential, and I've blogged about that in more detail over at the Conversationalist: Opportunity to Host Asylum Seekers'.

But for those here who may wish to just check out the link: http://www.humanrights.gov.au/mailing_lists/20120403.html#

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/843764.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # australia, human rights, making a difference

On my struggle with thinking about my marriage, my wedding...

Prompted by krasnostein's post where I got flaily and figured it needed it's own post.

Preference is for comments there :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/843234.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... nil Define... # thoughtful, weddings

(okay so the metaphor doesn't work, but I still like it, so there...)

This morning instead of diving headfirst into study, I needed to read greedy_dancer's new fic In The Morning.

It's so delightfully gorgeous! Poly first time, negotiations and falling in love, getting it wrong and getting it right and shared with friends and and and and....

I just can't say how much I loved this.

She's captured some of the awesome complexity in poly dynamics that is at times hard and joyful and beautiful and painful.

It's in the MCR verse, but not having a clue about the fandom I still adored the fic beyond reason. If you like awesome poly stories, go read this :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/842918.html

Where am I? home in my beautiful blue recliner Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # delight, fan fiction, poly, recs, sharing

Oh I am tired, so this will be quick (I hope...)

* Ate breakfast
* Arrived at work by 8am for the second day in a row
* Completed all but the last bit of work that I left for tomorrow so that I can at least say I've done something work related over the course of a day.
* Read some blogs.
* Blogged about achievements and also about my audience-blog.
* Played too much Castleville
* Had chats and discussions with people
* Communicated with workmates
* Applied for Melbourne jobs
* Had a very promising conversation with a Melbourne recruiter that I am hopeful about.
* Fantasised about job prospects and enjoyed the confidence buzz.
* Shopped and achieved soft lounging pants, 2 incredibly soft tops, both of which are work suitable, plus singlets to make some tops more modest as I like (including one of the new tops).
* Ate sushi for dinner.
* Ate icecream for dessert.
* Watched 'Once Upon A Time' while eating dessert.
* Raged and grieved inwardly (loudly) about the horribleness of the world towards women at the moment from all sides.
* Wrote a sizable chunk of my essay - the definitions part that will set the stage for me to make my argument.
* Wrote a detailed response to an online forum exercise about a media diary. It seems I'm using media except when I'm sleeping (or socialising in person) with someone at the moment. And I have a lot of thoughts about it.
* Caught up on a page of The Fluent Self that I hadn't read yet (2 pages behind still).

And now... bed.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/842646.html

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # achievements, dot points, job stuff, study

I posted this from my phone while I was studying at X-Wray Cafe in Fremantle on Saturday afternoon. (I am totally going back, it was *brilliant* even without aircon).

Feel free to wander over and take a look: Study Spaces - The Convesationalist.

If you're wondering what the difference is... basically it's that I use my DW/LJ as my personal chronicle, emotional touchstone as a point to share and connect with people. I write here for my own remembering and also to connect with loved ones.

What I'm aiming for with The Conversationalist is a space that is intended for an audience, because I have something I want to say. It's a place I want to use to explore things about the world, my place in it and making a difference in my own way. While a lot of that is personal - deeply so on occasion, it's still written with a sense of 'for an audience' as opposed to writing about what I'm struggling with here, which is more for my own processing and seeking support, growing in a safe and loving circle.

I'm still developing my voice, practising how to write in this different way. I expect that it's often a little rough, but I also hope that my expectation that I'll improve will hold true.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/842250.html

Where am I? work Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... "I'm Ready" - Tracy Chapman Define... # making a difference, sharing

Internet was playing up last night. Also, I almost thought it wasn't a necessary thing to note this. Then rethinking this morning.... I think it is. It's too easy to convince myself that I don't get enough done!

* Worked, stupid html scripting getting in the way of edits (I don't speak fluent html)
* Wrote a draft introduction to my essay... it's rough (really rough) but it exists
* Cooked dinner - beef stroganoff, enough for Cam to have lunches for the rest of the week.
* Didn't buy chocolate tart of awesome. (But really wanted to).
* Found gifty things and posted them.
* Bought myself My Little Ponies stamps (SO CUTE - I LUFFS THEM!)
* Got through a chunk of the backlog in my blog feed including Blue Milk's blog.
* Read a bunch of the Australian Women Writers Challenge reviews and commented on a bunch.
* Went to bed on time.
* Drank a pot of my new yogi-chai (non caffeinated vanilla chai)
* Ate the yummy lunch that Calli provided me from dinner on Monday.
* Watched an episode of Once Upon A Time.
* Reminded people about my Veducci party and responded to a bunch of emails about that.

Most of my time last night was spent sneaking up on writing. I need to remind my fingers/emotional thinking that I can write. That we can just make words and they will flow. That we can find useful references to make our points. Rusty at this so it was a lot like pulling teeth.

Today will hopefully go a bit easier.

I'd like to:

* Listen to a lecture
* Do 3 readings
* Discuss my research with samvara
* Send any useful emails resulting from said discussion.
* Get the definitions/setup part of my essay done and maybe tweak my introduction a little.

I also need to solve dinner for myself. And I hope to get through more of my blog backlog as work break stuff (I still have no work to do, am almost thankful to be finished this contract tomorrow).

I also want to make some follow up phonecalls about job things. But I don't want to rush into another contract as a few days to get a bunch of study done would be *so useful*

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/842220.html

Where am I? work Feeling... tired Compelled listening... "Deer in the Headlights" - Owl City Define... # achievements, dot points, goals, overwhelmed, study

For those who might read DW/LJ before email between now and Monday... My Veducci (http://www.veducci.com.au/) clothing party is on Monday night at my friend's house in Northbridge. Details are in the email I sent if you mentioned you were interested in coming. (If you didn't get an email, let me know and I'll fix that).

Looking for some indication of who will be there so that I can let my friend know and buy snacks :)

*loves*

(I con because it's the one that reminds me of fashion the most... also... Neal in a hat... do I need a reason?)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/841955.html

Where am I? work Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # clothes, party, social

Reminding myself again that the fact that there's so much left to do, doesn't mean that I've not achieved anything today.

Today I have:

* Made it to work on time despite train cancellations.
* Ate breakfast and remembered to bring my lunch
* Had lunch with a friend
* Drank water, only drank one coffee
* Worked more consistently than I have for a while (make-work makes ju something something...)
* Updated my resume
* Sent out a job application for Melbourne
* Sent out my updated resume to recruitment agents
* Followed up with current agent about potential contracts (zip atm)
* Organised Swancon panel stuff
* Paid bills
* Listened to a lecture
* Made lunches for the rest of the week
* Made dinner for myself (and notably didn't succumb to urge to order pizza)
* Read tutorial reports and responded to the discussion once (need to do one more this week)
* Read some of my backlog of blog posts and made some comments
* Called my Mum
* Wished Kaneda 'Happy Anniversary' and kissed him, and gave him Starry!Eyes several times.

And now I think I'll take one of my readings to bed... Thankfully it's a cooler night so I'll sleep better!

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/841554.html

Where am I? Home in my pretty study Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # achievements, dot points, note to self, study

And back after me falling off the chickening wagon. As always thanks to Havi for the inspiration. The point is weekly reflection on what was good and what was hard. Assess and reflect, then let go and move on to thinking about the week ahead!

( Chickening beneath the cut )

Okay, that's about where I'm at. Here's to Friday and the weekend. (Lots of study and tiny amounts of socialisation for me).

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/841395.html

Where am I? work Feeling... delighted Compelled listening... "Opportunity Nox" - Roxette Define... # amazing friends, health, joyful, melbourne, planning, self analysis, sensuality, sexuality, sharing, social, study, transcendence, work

I'm thinking that it might be useful if I do a quick dotpoint list of all the things I'm getting through just so that I remember that I'm actually getting through a lot even if there's still so much more to go...

This will be from the past couple of days or so just so I feel like I've covered everything.

* Week 2 lectures 2/2 yesterday and the day before
* Week 3 readings on the weekend for one unit
* Tutorial report 1/5 done and submitted with references
* Comments made on other tutorial reports and student exercises online
* Drafted reading summary - need to rework and write additional one.
* All the week 2 readings.
* Cooked awesome dinner last night
* Cooked self lunch for next three days
* Did work on my 'Book of Me' on Monday
* Blogged about Roxette Monday
* Did social and partnery things with Calli Monday.
* Organised to send out the poly gathering reminder including new venue info.


Today:
* One article of three read for one unit.
* One lecture of two for the week.
* Co-hosted the poly meet with lots of new people.
* Emailed tutor with idea for audience analysis assignment and discussed same with prk on the way home.
* Read forum posts on debate assignment, sent email to my debate partner.
* Made comments on tutorial report and other posts for external forum.
* Discussed panel ideas with the founder of the Australian Women Writer's Challenge, thought about potential panellists
* Squeaked happily and flaily like over awesome sms from crush, and sent awesome message back
* Was loving toward partner who needed alone and quiet time.
* Bought an awesome book of Indigenous short stories - originally I thought it concentrated on Australia, actually it's world wide. So looking forward to reading!
* Ate an awesome chocolate tart.
* Inane work. Really really inane work.

See? Lots. And yet... so much still to get through. So glad that I'm home tomorrow evening. I shall hope to get through a major chunk of study so that I can be social Friday night. Also, I should check what's on this weekend in case I need to make apologies.

So. Much. Study.

But... I got the loveliest sms, continuation of a conversation and it was long enough to be a multi-media message - which is to say, I'm not the only one who does it :D I'm just... revelling in this experience. It's a little bit ordinary but a lot delicious for it. I'm enjoying the experience of someone seeking to connect with me and appreciating their efforts - especially as they're as busy as I am :) I am so looking forward to seeing them again...

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/841005.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # achievements, amazing conversations, amazing friends, dot points, friendship, job stuff, poly, study

Roxette is the very first band I ever fell in love with. I fell in love with Marie and her look, her hair and her voice. I fell in love with the way they danced around the stage/music video having the *best* time singing their songs. I fell in love with Per and his ineffable joy in music and guitar, his incredible respect and amazement in Marie - you can just see it in his face. Or at least, when I watch their old videos and such, I can see it.

"The Look" was the first song I ever loved, followed by "Listen to Your Heart" both of which are still my equal favourites (along with several others from various albums over time).

Here, have some links to both those:

Listen to Your Heart:


The Look:


I was too young and not in a city when they last came to Australia on tour, so I didn't get to go. But I've harboured the dream to see them live in concert since very early on.

On the 28th of February 2012, I finally got to live that dream.

Oh... oh and it was worth it. It was absolutely everything I'd hoped for and wanted. I recognised all the songs they sang except the one from their new album and sang myself hoarse. More than that, the songs they'd picked as their favourites are also some of my favourites and it was *wonderful* to appreciate that.

Also, I cannot tell you how joyous it was to see them having fun together on stage with their band, making music. The guitar just rang out like a clarion call and it was just *music* distilled with pure joy and love of playing. I will never forget what it was like to experience the energy of that live playing together. Truly, Roxette has some amazing guitar in their repertoire!

It is also the first concert experience I've been to where other friends were going as fans as well! I've never had that before and it was also really lovely just to squeak happily and know it was understood and returned.

I still want to meet them in person one day, I want to tell them how much I love their happy songs, how much I love their music and the way they sing. I want to tell them that I love how they're still such good friends so many years later.

I'm just revelling happily in my fangirl experience of hearing them live and loving it. Getting to cheer my appreciation and thanks, my joy and delight to them.

I wish I could relive it over and over again.

This is a quintessential moment in my life, fulfilling in a 'big ticky box of life' kind of way. There is a deep abiding happiness I have having seen them live, and having enjoyed myself to the upmost.

I hope I get to see them in concert again and again... I just want to continue to be so glad that they're in the world doing what they love and that I get to appreciate it.

It inspires me, as their songs and lyrics have done all along, to live the most magnificent and love filled life I can. My earliest inspiration about love? Definitely thanks to Roxette.

I'm still in love with love. I'm still in love with Roxette... I can't imagine that ever changing.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/840747.html

Where am I? Parker Household Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Listen to Your Heart" - Roxette Define... # experiences, love, moments to remember, music, roxette, sacred, transcendence, wonder

So busy! *flails* Also tired...

So this is a placeholder for all the things I want to tell you:

* How brilliant Roxette was
* the PIAF performances I've seen
* the Fringe performance I saw
* about moving and thinking and feelings around that
* maybe even some swancon stuff (my enthusiasm is lagging so far)

There's a bunch of things I want to blog over at The Conversationalist too, but they will have to wait. Also, I should write a list of them so I don't forget...

Study has begun and it's very full on. I don't expect to be available much between now and June as the units I'm doing are heavy in their workload, particularly the online component they're requiring (they missed the memo about flexiblity and external studies!)

Also work. Still working for a mining company doing boring and repetitive things. But they pay me well and have decent coffee for free. I can deal. Hopefully they'll employ me beyond March 16 until June when I want to move.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/840679.html

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # busyness, study, updateyness

I am home in Perth again. I was retrieved from the airport by my beloved samvara who delivered me to K' who gave me lots of kisses and Cam who was squishy and delightful.

I showed them my booty (suitcase was 6kg heavier returning than going over, but still under the 23kg weight limit).

I am enjoying the familiarity, have been greeted by the puppy and one kitty (two kitties still in hiding and I suspect Onni will continue to punish my absence by avoiding me for a while yet).

I miss Melbourne like whoa. I started missing it Sunday. I love Perth and my life here so very much, the people in my life hear, so very very much. But I am drawn so strongly to Melbourne now... I've been entertaining the thought (and second guessing it) for years and yet, it just keeps becoming more compelling as time goes by. I've now hit the point where I feel like I'm almost procrastinating about it. So I guess it's time to do something about that.

I have had some lovely contact from G, whom I met at the party and spend magical times with. It seems that I am very easily seduced into giddy happiness through communication. Genuine, caring and appreciative in that I am in their thoughts, that he also has fond and lingering memories of our time spent. I'm smitten and delighted beyond measure. I can't wait to get to know him better.

MS was wonderful in taking me to the airport, and in particular I loved that there were several 'last' kisses. This is also something that just melts right into my heart. I love love love multiple 'last' kisses/cuddles. I've enjoyed the sense of ordinary we've been collaborating on. I have learned that I have a 'distraction face' that has intent. MS has learned that my hair is a form of love that lingers, and that I am besotted by her breakfast magic (note: mainly science and love, not magic but I reserve the right to experience it magically!) Also that it brings me particular joy to make teapot-tea and bring it to her in bed.

Little things. I am a person made up of little things that make me feel so very loved and treasured.

Lots of my lovely Melbourne friends/chosen family asking after when I am moving, with hopefulness and relish - absolutely a delight. Not because they're pushing, it's purely excitement and sharing in the anticipation - it has been a long time coming.

Am so glad I have tomorrow off. Soooooo tired! And on that note, enough babble from me.

Dear Perth, I love you so much and am pleased to be in your arms again. Dear Melbourne, I miss you so much already! Clearly this is just another way in which I practice my polyamory :P Can't even commit to one city :P

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/840328.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, love, melbourne, moments to remember, perth, poly, relationships, sensuality, sexuality

Too tired to blog about this now. Stayed up all night, got home to Brunswick about 10am (!!) and oh.... oh was it worth staying.

Such a magical night and morning.

I love my life.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/839844.html

Where am I? Brunswick Home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # moments to remember, sharing, transcendence

So I spent overnight with Robin (staying with his mother) in Albury last night. He had to work so I spent the afternoon evening to myself (I couldn't quite make myself ring family randomly and invite myself over to dinner or anything).

I had a massage (it was okay but nothing like the awesome massages L from Freo gives me) and wandered to the library - which reminded me why I love libraries so much and enjoy hanging out there. I don't get that sense from my local library, or even the State Library.

I then wandered to what was actually a really kind of quirky bar (especially for somewhere like Albury) and had dinner. Steak was *fantastic* (though the steak from the local pub in Inglewood between Bendigo and Rheola put it to shame, I'm surprised - and pleased to say). The bar was The Zed Bar and they also had some very interesting cocktails - though no Charlie Chaplin, which is my equal favourite along with the Aviator. I'm making a point of testing the Charlie (or even both) at all the cocktail bars I come across :)

It is strange being in the town I grew up in. Even though I was born and lived in Wodonga, I spent enough time in Albury for it to also ping as 'childhood home'. I remember conversations with my Mum, instances where my brother and I were cajoling to go to McDonalds, or a particular park or a particular friend's house.

Part of the strangeness is the residual fear that I will run into my father. This is *extremely* unlikely as to my knowledge he barely ever leaves his house (the same one he's owned since my mother left him). Part of it is that I'm not out to my extended family about being queer and poly, which makes casually catching up when I'm spending time with Robin, quite difficult. Also, although I love them dearly, spending hours in their company is difficult. Also rewarding. Also difficult. And draining. So I didn't do that this time either.

That said, while I fail at extended family, I do succeed at 'daughter' because I'm having lunch with my Mum on Sunday :) I'm *so* looking forward to this as it's been forever since I've seen her!

The poly party is on tomorrow night and while one partner is going, they have a special date night planned - which will be wonderful and I'm so pleased for them, but it means that I'm aware I won't be central to their attention. My other partner isn't going, which is unfortunate but not the end of the world - I get to spend other wonderful time with them around the party. And, it means that I won't owe anyone in particular *my* attention, which allows me the freedom of exploring and enjoying myself with the friends I will know and other interesting and new people to meet.

It's been a *very* interesting week, and I'll probably post more about that under a filter as there's been some important and necessary emotional work occur, some of it unexpected and some of it unsurprising if not expected. But it speaks to my emotional squishy places and that's a little hard to share still. I can say, that I am feeling more confident again. I'm also feeling more resolved about moving to Melbourne. This year. After Easter.

But so strange to see the television news talking about the news relevant to the 'border'. Odd to see familiar buildings and such in the background from the reports. Nostalgic to see the cinema where I first saw any movies, still seemingly exactly the same - crawling along with the times. There are cafes - a cafe strip and interesting boutique shops. I was surprised, because it's both how I remembered it, and not. Albury and I are different. But we are still familiar to one another.

I'm enjoying the opportunity to reconnect with this locale through Robin, as an adult and as a queer and poly person. I value the different eyes and perspective I can see these twin cities through. It's not quite as tiny, insignificant and backward as my unkind memory is want to paint it. It's grown and changed, there's so much more to it than I realised from the known confines of my parent's and family's worlds. I'm relishing the removal of those blinkers.

I'm back in Rheola again, my last night here. The property is idyllic and beautifully isolated, quiet and serene. I've loved my time here. I'll miss this place and the poly eco-village dynamic that C, V and Robin are growing here. It's so beautiful and heartening.

And now, I need to be sleeping :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/839234.html

Where am I? Robin's bed, about to sleep. Feeling... tired Compelled listening... "Ticky Ticky Boom" - Boys Boys Boys! Define... # childhood, family, introspection, love, melbourne, planning, queer, relationships, sharing, social

Over at The Conversationalist: On Valentines Day.

chaosmanor made a very similar comment which I also appreciated.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/839167.html

Where am I? Rheola Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... People sounds :) Define... # love, relationships

So flat out!

New mini-contract has been solid, they're a nice bunch of people to work with and I am loving being back in the city again.

Flying to Melbs at midnight on Friday for 2 weeks. At that point I will get to *stop*. This will be awesome.

Quickly in dot points because I should be sleeping:

* have blogged things I've been working up the energy to blog for a while and am pleased to have done so. Hoping that some people who do the theme thing are interested in sharing stuff about it for them with me.

* work, goodness, an extra 6 days of income for the win. Also have been exposed to many more types of keyboard and mouse than I realised existed.

* speaking of income, I went to a Veducci clothing party demo, and oh, people... I am sold. Some of you will know just how much trouble I've had with clothing of the dressy and professional nature? I think my problem is now solved. These clothes are *beautiful* and really consider fashion and different cuts and shapes - there are lots of different things and the sizing was flexible and generous. I'm having a demo that my lovely friend B who lives in Northbridge is hosting for me in March. If you're interested, send me an email or message :) I'll be sending out invites soonish. Tonight from leftover summer stock I got a gorgeous full length turquoise dress and a little cropped black jacket to go over it.

* as a result, the body stress i've been feeling has let up. Also, having looked up my menstrual cycle spreadsheet and added in some updates - including moon phases, just for the niftyness factor, it's possible a bunch of stuff is related to being on one of the longer cycles, today is day 40. Since June last year I've had 2 x 42 day cycles, a 36 and a 35 day cycle. I am dirty that this cycle has not been a short one for obvious I-will-be-in-Melbourne reasons.

* playing games on my phone. They are fun. I may have found somewhere around 150 of the elements for 'Alchemy' today.

* my phone does almost everything I need of the internet during the day - the highlights at the least and some things I even prefer. Very happy, love my android to bits!

* getting into the habit of reading non-fiction again in preparation for study. Looking forward to uni this year.

* May have more work with current company. Fingers crossed that they're happy to have me back when I get back from Melbourne. And that they want to keep me on in general, as it would be easy money and of benefit while I'm studying.

* Cabaret performance tomorrow night. I still need to do laundry and pack before Friday night, so currently it looks like I'm coming straight home instead of my usual gathering of friends, otherwise timing is looking just too tight unless something necessary shifts.

Bedtime.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/838790.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # clothes, dot points, gaming, job stuff, melbourne, organisation, self image, social, updateyness

For any of you waiting patiently for me to blog about my 2012 theme, here it is.

2012 Is About Renewal

I was going to post it here too, but the formatting is messed up upon paste, so please go and visit my other blog and see what I'm taking on this year. I'd love to hear about your themes that you're taking on if you'd like to share. I'm also interested in anything you wanted to share about themes you've taken on in the past.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/838535.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... accomplished Compelled listening... nil Define... # healing, making a difference, self growth

I've blogged over at The Conversationalist (my posterous blog) about my process for taking on a yearly theme as an extended enquiry. Go take a look if you wish :)

So Tell Me About This Theme Thing You Do...".

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/838187.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... nil Define... # sharing, thoughtful

This morning I woke up stupidly early to be at Fraser's in Kings Park for 7am. I had the opportunity to attend an event instead of my director as she was unable to attend. No one else put their hand up to go, so I got to, despite this being my last day and thus they'll not get any benefit in me having attended. Also, it counts toward my work hours, so YAY! I can finish early!

The presentation was interesting, given by John Mitchell who used to be the CEO of the Rottnest Island Authority. Organisation behind it is Integral Development headed by up by Dr Ron Cacioppe.

These are the notes that I took, I found it a useful presentation that was emphasising points of view that I agree with strongly - this is unusual for one of these talks :P And it was put together in a way that I can see has more of a practical ability to implement and less meta.

( cut for length )

Well worth getting up early for, in my opinion :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/837909.html

Where am I? work (about to leave for the last time!) Feeling... accomplished Compelled listening... "Ticky Ticky Boom" - Boys Boys Boys! Define... # job stuff, leadership

4 days left in current contract. Job hunting for new one, very determined to avoid going back into the project support bucket, I've outgrown it and I want to continue developing as a business analyst. Much better at it, much more satisfying and suitable.

Melbourne in two weeks!

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/837412.html

Where am I? home Feeling... hot Compelled listening... nil Define... # hopeful, job stuff, melbourne

I've finalised my thoughts on last year's theme (also known as my year long enquiry).

Final Reflection on my 2011 theme: Conscious Faith.

It's been a huge year, immensely painful and the joy has been entirely related to people dear to me. Particularly those I'm closest to who've held my hands and let me cry and reminded me of all the things I don't remember when I'm upset.

Next up, setting up and beginning 2012's enquiry: Renewal.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/837202.html

Where am I? home Feeling... accomplished Compelled listening... "You Can Still Be Free" - Savage Garden Define... # self growth, sharing

Another week, another chicken, moving back to the Friday posting, just to see how I like it :) As always, thanks to Havi for the inspiration.

( cut for length )

And that's it for another chicken. This week was much more positive than others have been recently and I enjoyed it immensely - hoping it's a trend that continues!

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/837012.html

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Enjoy the Silence" - Depeche Mode Define... # amazing friends, job stuff, love, melbourne, organisation, social, study, wishful

Just a note that I've done some updates to flists etc, mostly removing communities and so on also streamlining my Dreamwidth reading preference (so if you're posting regularly over there and want to friend me, feel free: I'm transcendancing). If you're posting duplicate in DW and LJ I may have unlisted you on my LJ side, it's not a lack of love, I promise!

I've also had to just cut down overall on the number of blogs I'm reading regularly as study is going to be exceedingly full on this year and it's one less stress.

If I've unfriended you by accident etc, prod me and I'll fix - I've been staring between DW and LJ and it's entirely likely I got something wrong.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/836760.html

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Super Honeymoon" - Owl City Define... # flist, organisation

I spoke with my former housemate today about the stuff that I'm missing from the boxes that arrived a while back. I'd send a detailed list to my almost-ex-boss but hadn't heard back, and I'd started my gently persistent round of phonecalls again.

So, I've now forwarded the emails on to S, and hopefully I'll get some information and find out what's going on soon.

It's not a huge win, but it *is* communication and I'll take each bit for what it's worth.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/836602.html

Where am I? home Feeling... accomplished Compelled listening... nil Define... # moving forward

Time to chicken again, the reflection is helping so much with being conscious of what I'm achieving and how my experience of things progresses and changes. Thanks to Havi for the inspiration.

( cut for length (as usual) )

It really is about all the little things at present. Still loving the way my Pinboard interacts with all my other stuff, particularly Twitter. Still behind on my information feeds, but if I sit down over a weekend sometime soon and find some productivity I'll get it all up to date without any real issue.

And that's us done for this week. Mostly I'm caught up in the {PROXY} and trying to cope with it.

Hoping the week gone has been kind to all of you.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/836144.html

Where am I? home Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... "Music Again" - Adam Lambert Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, books, kaneda, love, reading, reflection, relationships, work

This is mostly for myself, as a note of what I know/understand currently and how things are going.

( cut for interest )

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/835964.html

Where am I? home Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... nil Define... # massage, note to self, pain

So japester and Kitkat tweeted this to me yesterday. I have to say that it is *very* apt!

http://cheezburger.com/JimPrice/lolz/View/5527219712

I bring you a cute kitten and a funny to begin your day :)

Damn, I seem not to have uploaded my 'fluffiest 'fear me' kitten evah' icon... but here's a link to the image to give you the idea:

http://allcutecats.blogspot.com/2007/09/fear-me-kitten.html

Kittens! Cuteness! Not a bad way to begin Thursday really :)

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/835717.html

Where am I? work Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Roses" - Darren Hayes Define... # kittens, sharing

But because I didn't want to do it, I'm doing it. Here we go. Reflecting on the hard stuff and the good stuff from the week past. Thanks to Havi for the inspiration.

It's a little more than a week, but I'm going with it because that's what feels right.

On to the chickening... ( (cut as usual for length) )

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/835431.html

Where am I? work Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... "I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz Define... # hopeful, job stuff, kaneda, kisses, love, melbourne, nye, reflection, relationships, sharing

I got to spend two glorious days with my beloved K holed up in a deluxe hotel room. Hearing it was our anniversary, the lovely folks at the Pan Pacific booked us into a room on the almost-top floor, with a view of the river (and the surrounding city - so very pretty!)

We didn't do much exactly, and that was the point. We hunted munchies to sustain us through marathon tv watching that we'd planned, I put the bottle of Moet in the fridge to chill. We had dinner in the restaurant (Montereys, thwarted by the opening days of Origins which had been my preference), which was delightful.

Of particular note is that I still don't think that I enjoy buffet food, I think the only way to really enjoy such is as a seafood fan (of which I am not). That said, Kaneda smashed last year's desolate hunt for crayfish (and related) seafood out of the water by consuming 3 (maybe 4?) and he was a happy person indeed. The food was overall lovely but I shall be reassured by my desire to order al a carte next time.

We were seated near to this other couple who also happened to be celebrating their anniversary - by chance, double ours at 28! So serendipitous, and the conversation we had was delightful. It was just one of those moments that make you smile :)

We got through almost the rest of last year's season of US SYTYCD, just 4 episodes left! We slept and snuggled and wandered along the esplanade, had a bath in darkness while watching our marathon, ate cheese and chocolate for our second night's dinner, ordered in room service dessert and enjoyed the Moet.

It was reasonably hedonistic, intimate and very peaceful. The latter by way of no internet the whole time and the only person we had any contact with was Cam. It was wonderful to have K all to myself for the time, and we enjoyed just being in company with one another. We touched on future plans and fears and hopes, but mostly we just relaxed, slept, cuddled (or in K's case bore with good grace my starry eyed cuddling).

Part of the success of this plan was that at no point could K do any work... he had to take the time completely off, which as a result made him sleepy and relaxed and fun to be around :) I'm pleased to have been able to give him that gift, and to enjoy the delight of his company in this way. This man... I am so in love with him. Our connection has grown and changed, stretched and tightened and is the deepest and most profound experience of my life.

I should also note that the boys' additional christmas present to me was a gorgeous little herb garden outside our back door. I'm so delighted with it - it's so pretty and it has most of my favourite/desired herbs/leaves in it :D

I hope next to blog about the farewelling of 2011, the welcoming of 2012 and doing little mini farewells/welcomes to december/january. I will also write up my final thoughts on my 2011 theme 'conscious faith' and my beginning thoughts on my 2012 theme :) But not tonight...

Tonight I almost have the brain and I almost have the heart, but not quite. Sleepy time.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/835202.html

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... loved Compelled listening... Kitty miaowing at the door wanting to get in.... Define... # anniversary, connectionism, dining out, holiday, kaneda, love, sharing

Last chicken for the year! I am pleased with this new habit, it puts the week in perspective for me. I also become aware of what I struggled with and what I accomplished. Thanks as usual to Havi at The Fluent Self for the inspiration.

( chicken below the cut )

That's the chicken for this week. Difficult but with definite lovely high moments worth treasuring.

This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/834654.html

Where am I? home in cluttered study Feeling... sleepy Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, christmas, cooking, cuddles, issues, thoughtful, work