Thank the Universe for the love I get to share in and experience in my life.

What is clear to me this moment, is that this is not thanks to the Universe at all, and is a function of me being who I am moving through the world.

Tonight I'm connected to this understanding where if I am committed to genuinely being who I am - and continually taking joy in, examining and discovering me, then I get to experience the love and joy and friendship (add other expressions as appropriate) that I adore and value so much.

Instead, tonight I shall thank the Universe for me.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... K sleeping beside me :) Define... # amazing friends, connectionism, identity, joy, love, self, thoughtful

So today I had a breakthrough. I came out of the micromanagement morning meeting, pissed off and deeply resenting and feeling offended over perceiving that as the situation went, being held to ransom for plans I'd been clear about at the beginning of the year and had done my level best to minimise the impact on the business etc etc with needing to take more than the 4 weeks of leave. Purchased leave would have made it easier, but was knocked back. I'm now planning around the lwop required to go to Brisbane to be with babalon_93 when baby arrives.

Boss pointed out yesterday that if I put in the lwop application, that it would leave him in the same position as what had caused him to reject my purchased leave application. I pointed out that I'd tried very hard to communicate this at the time, that this was for me family commitments I'd made and those obligations didn't disappear just because he didn't approve the purchased leave which was my way of making it financially easier for myself.

So yes, still going to Brisbane. My current plan is possibly to wander off over there for six months via lwop, leaving K and Cam to manage household here, and between the three of us make the finances work. This is dependent on applying for, and receiving approval for the lwop, which is by no means guaranteed. Having said that if I can do it this way, it gives me a safety net of not losing my permanency, I've started looking to arrange contracts either in Brisbane or in Perth, private enterprise, 3-6 months in length. The point being I can organise new job stuff or whatever the hell I'm meant to be doing next, while not going to that place day to day, working for that person. High on my lists of personal well being moves.

It's not perfect, and it will probably be stressful, however I feel far less so than currently I am experiencing. I don't recognise myself when I am there, going there or leaving there. I don't recognise this person who feels worthless and dejected and dreads the day - this is not who I am, and I have reached the point where I have to create inside of a possibility where I can not be in this situation, and still be responsible and do the bill paying household supporting thing.

So, maybe I'll be in Brisbane, maybe I'll be in Perth. I have no idea, and this entire thing terrifies me and exhilarates me in equal measure. However... I remember that somewhere underneath this angst and emo and such, there is an amazing person, and this person is me, and I am capable and vulnerable and ready to try this different journey path.

I have no idea what it will look like, but I am excited about what I will create and learn, and uplifted by the love and support around me by all these amazing, brilliant people.

I just need to hold onto this feeling day to day, till this can all happen - till I am free. Wobbly steps to power, but I'm not going to let circumstances dictate to me in this arena any longer. I can move mountains - including this fucker.

*determined*

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... determined Compelled listening... nil

This is quick and off the top of my head, and while I'm not committing to a month or anything like that I expect that with amazing people like girliejones, babalon_93 and pharoah_kat embarking on this and posting about it, that I will make several posts on the subject myself over the coming weeks.

For now, this is my offering to the world of amazing female artists. These first ones are new finds in the last few weeks, that I'm currently a bit smitten with, currently for the individual songs rather than albums or career arcs, though I have a couple of those too below.

As of tonight, Kate Miller Heidke - "Last Day on Earth" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV8eaJxJfyc

Thanks to maharetr for the link to that particularly lovely song :)

These next two are thanks to the US Season 4 'So you think you can dance?'.


Hayley Westenra - "Dark Waltz" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5VnBTnI3s4


Meshell Ndegeocello - "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZcpUyI9jhU

I'd post a link to Aneiki's acoustic 'Pleased to Meet You' which I think by far outstrips the radio version, but alas You Tube doesn't have it uploaded anywhere it seems.

As far as women off the top of my head that I have great respect and appreciation for not only individual music they've produced but for an amazing career contribution to music:

Dolly Parton both for classics like '9 to 5' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpKAA2VxWY8 but also awesomeness such as Dolly Parton covering Melissa Etheridge - which seems to have disappeared from You Tube :( (and Melissa covering Dolly - 'Coat of Many Colours' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pra1i5Alaw)

Marie Fredriksson, who is the female vocalist of Roxette - 'Listen to Your Heart' (still one of my favourite Roxette songs...) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCC_b5WHLX0

Madonna - what can I say that babalon_93 didn't? If anything, I have a less strongly formed impression having come to music appreciation well after several of Madonna's amazing redefinitions of her image. But I do love her, and while my favourite Madonna song to dance to is 'Music', 'Nothing Really Matters' is also rather awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLCWeXfTgt4

Kylie Minogue has made a huge contribution to pop music, and I am someone who loves pop - amongst various other styles. Hands down my favourite Kylie song is 'Slow (Chemical Brothers Remix)' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KBJpUWsCTM.

Also Annie Lennox, both as a solo artist with songs like 'No More I Love You's' (which is the first solo song of hers I loved) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsl2O2H7g1c&feature=fvst and as part of the Eurythmics, in Australia 2009 singing 'There Must Be an Angel (Playing With My Heart) - even now, how amazing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7EFSPVVHAY

And in doing the above I've just been reminded about Lily Allen - 'Fuck You' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpZm1TstpjQ, Regina Spektor - 'Us' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEOGWPA4e9w and also Katy Perry - 'I kissed a girl' - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDebwTnsud0, Tori Amos - 'Winter' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWmETxWM0h0, Gwen Stefani - 'What You Waiting For', Pink! - 'So What?!' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64

So yes, women and music as I'm listening to it right now, and throughout my life... in no particular order, haphazzardly remembered, but with love and fondness. I have however taken more care with some videos than others :) Enjoy.

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # appreciation, celebration, feminism, music, women

http://shanness.net/sundaylife/

I'm not out to convert the world to my lifestyle... but I am absolutely committed that people get to choose and live the lifestyle that is an expression of who they are, and wish to be. (an it harm none..)

Having said that, do I get a bit of a kick out of seeing something of my life being represented positively in the mainstream media? Absolutely.

aescapulius is looking to move in with us sometime in the next little while, which will be awesome! Especially when I run off to other cities to discover who I am and practise all that I'm being and creating for the world :)

I love kae_dash more and more daily, I fall in love with him often and deeply, and most of all I love that between us we can trust each other in our mutual commitment to each other getting to be who we want to be, and live an amazing life - together or not. I love the freedom I gain from being in love with this amazing man - he inspires me, supports me and always, always, believes in me.

I love knowing that in turn I inspire him, I support him and always, always believe in him.

This is not a small part of me being who I am, and living a life that is amazing and part of what I want to be and create for the world at large.

The article reminds me of all of this, it reminds me of MS in Melbourne, where if I think of her, I blush! It makes me think of R whom I met recently in Bendigo who was unexpected in connection and awesomeness. It makes me think of e_dan and of the wonder held inside what we shared and created, and of the other loves in my life that I've met, love and share my life with in some capacity.

I love to be re-inspired, and love that the article was part of that, this week.

I will never ever, ever be tired of being in love, or falling in love. Anyone I've mentioned above, amongst several others, I have the privilege of falling in love with often... it never gets tired or old, it's never the same experience. I am blessed by the Universe.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... jubilant Compelled listening... nil Define... # identity, inspiration, joy, life, love, making a difference, polyamory, possibilities, relationships, self, thankful, transcendence

But mainly because the result of the leave conversation made me pissed off rather than upset.

I am however exploring options. I will not be held to ransom and if freedom doesn't come inside of resignation I'll create another way.

I may be visiting Brisbane for an extended period. Or maybe just find a private contract for a few months while I job hunt - the aim being to not have to be here, working for this person directly.

I will make something work, somehow.

In any case, lunch is over and I now have another meeting.

Where am I? work Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... nil Define... # determination, job hunting, positive things, possibilities, work

Please can I go home now?



Please can I have a new job?


I applied for one in Brisbane just now.


It is at this point that I usually remind myself of being able to resign.  Except, at the moment being the sole earner at present, I can't.


I am coping, but I don't know how.

Because so many of the people I'm close to or care about or read their lj are having a tough time in one way or another.

I wanted you all to know that I've been reading and thinking of you even if I haven't commented. I care. Despite what's below, if you feel the need to reach out, I am here and I will listen and provide love.

For myself, I am struggling so hard atm, and it's only with work. There is so much awesome out side of it, but I can't see the forest for the huge freaking dead log in my way. *cries* I keep creating, and working and concentrating and be great with it all... patience, working hard, concentrating on being and by this point...

I'm feeling exhausted. I'm feeling heart sore. I'm feeling very cynical. I'm feeling resentful. I'm feeling incompetent. That and much more in the same vein.

Yet, a lot of the time I don't feel this - where all the coping and processing and working hard is succeeding... so it's not all terrible. I have power and I have choice. I'm sure I do. I just seem to have to work at not only remembering this, but actively engaging and using this power and making choices.

This holding pattern? Is not pretty. I'd like to move on now please.

Things I'd do tomorrow if I wasn't the person responsible for the household finances atm:

- resign.
- take time off till going to Brisbane in August.
- Go to Brisbane in August - and move there for 3-6 months.
- Wander down to Sydney for 3-6 months.
- Wander down to Melbourne 3-6 months. Or possibly in another order - no idea, but it's the current wishful plan. (I say wishful because firm plans, there are none).

I could do this anyway, but I don't want to try and be covering two households... or a household plus me separately.


At least I am 5 steps closer to choosing my units for this semester coming.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... stressed Compelled listening... nil

Very quickly - I should be asleep!


I got an amazing email today. I got an amazing post card today. Both from people that I have some involvement with in one fashion or another, and neither of them live in the state.

Given I've been feeling somewhat singularly focused, either feeling single or totally focused on K, the reconnection with the actual existence of my poly life was fan-fucking-tastic!!

( cut for those uninterested )

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # appreciation, desire, hunger, moments to remember, poly, sensuality, sharing

* Still have a Supanova post to write regarding the meeting of Richard Hatch and how this inspired me.

* Sick for three days this week, still coming out of it.

* Work has been manageable through a series of unexpected reprieves, I don't expect this to last.

* Job hunting like crazy and am simultaneously fired up and hungry for it, and apathetic and cynical. Unpleasant.

* Unexpectedly last night K and friends ended up being social and celebratory (I forget why) and they had a brilliant time, drinking, talking a lot and staying up till not long before my alarm went off to get up for work. When K came to say goodnight with Cam, they were so relaxed and adorable that my (significant) irritation at still being awake at 2:30am melted away.

* No one was especially noisy or raucous, but anything after 2:30am sounds noisy when you're trying to sleep and failing. I tried to sleep largely unsuccessfully wearing headphones - it was in fits and starts for bursts that didn't feel long enough at any stretch.

* Called in late to work, slept an extra much needed silent hour. Can't begrudge K the much needed splurge on relaxation and fun, but fervently wish that it hadn't been on a 'school night' for me.

* Friday night group was awesome company, and there was Brando's pizza and S3 Torchwood eps 1-3, which was brilliant. Downside was nerdus_maximus2 having her bag stolen just before I arrived, while there were people in the house :( We've all been hoping for a miracle of 'under a chair/behind something somehow' but alas the twelvish of us were not suffering mass blindness that we can see thus far :(

* Just on Torchwood - huge step up for Torchwood, step down for RTD? Amazing what killing some of the cheese and adding some well written drama to the mix can do for a series... makes me sympathetic to the wasted potential of S1 and S2.

* I hate waiting up for the boys being this tired, but if I go to sleep till they return I'll likely wake up anxious and shock-y and shakey. It's not a pleasant experience and one I'd rather avoid. However, I'm not usually nearly so tired - and if possible I'd like to be functional tomorrow.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil

The outcome is a mixed thing, I'm going to talk about it in a couple of different ways.


The experience of the performance conversation was FAR better than I thought possible. Yesterday I had the experience of significant anxiety and terror, which I got better at controlling as the day went by (thank you toes and breathing and suggestions to remember this), followed by resentment, frustration and anger - also which I resolved by swearing a bit, having a very workshoppy conversation with prk who was brilliant, and moving from that space into a far more effective frame of mind where I did preparation, analysis and looked at what I wanted to get out of it (least pain as possible), and how to go about raising the stuff I wanted raised without sticking my foot down my throat.

By the time I hit this point last night, I wasn't exactly looking forward to the conversation, but I really felt psyched for it, and prepared and totally able to kick ass.

I did. I was intelligent and articulate. I spoke well, related my points to the business succinctly, mostly managed to not add emo (I had to remind myself once). I raised everything I wanted to raise plus a couple I didn't think I'd be comfortable raising.

The outcome of it though was frustrating, demoralising and really not at all what I wanted. I don't get to join one of the teams, the mentorship programme that boss was so supportive of in branch meeting, seems to not have convinced him at all and he's dangling it like a vague carrot. Mentioned evaluation of job and the bits that specifically don't work and why (I was very articulate in this), and while he listened nothing got taken on. I still have to go to the micromanaging daily meetings, and more than that will probably end up having to spend twice as much time in them, being spoonfed whatever's the going flavour of the day.

Boss mentioned I get to be part of a team with him, and I managed to be very diplomatic in pointing out the difference in our jobs and positions and that the reason I was gravititating towards the project people was that they had the skills I was particularly interested in engaging with and developing mentoring wise.

I got incredible clarity on the role itself, and it's completely not what I wanted to be doing even when I took the job - I thought the project support I'd be doing would be on the sharepoint websites that DPC's doing. It's not, and it won't ever be - the project support I get to do is for boss' pet projects of lack of clarity, going nowhere and goal post moving-ness.

My incentive for job hunting was crystallised for me today. I don't want to be doing this job, I don't want to be working with this person, even though I have realised how much I enjoy working in the branch itself. If I could actually do the project support stuff I have experience in, have the skills for and improve on and develop those, that'd be awesome. Alas. No.

My current intentions around the job is to do well and work well and continue improving as much as I can in that area letting go of some of the complaints and such that I've had going on. I am aiming for as little pain/frustration as possible. I'm concentrating on patience and calmness as strategies for managing frustration and resentment. I am job hunting with intensity and am strongly working on a conversation with the universe where I get to resign/be seconded asap.

So. The end. Not terrible or traumatising (for the first time ever) and still lots of room for improvement for future bosses.

Taking the positives, cutting my losses and taking stock of and appreciation all the lessons I've learned and improvements I've made inside of this. By no means perfect - or even noticeable to anyone but me, but I am pleased.

Especial love and thanks for helping me breakthrough on this with such strength and articulation go to e_dan, prk, maharetr, black_samvara and mr_booboo, as well as a couple of work colleagues, one of which is having a problem not unrelated to me. Poor thing, I noticed that she left upset tonight :(

Applied for 3 jobs last night, 1 today and 2 applications to write still.

Where am I? home Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil

So I am here at Bocelli's drinking coffee - I woke up bright and early this morning. Bizarre. No anxiety at all yet, just a little nervousness.

I'm feeling very prepared for this thing now, and I think that I can approach it and manage it in a way of my choosing. I'm keeping in mind various pieces of advice re breathing, that it's a first review and should be setting goals not reviewing them, that I don't have to sign until I agree with it (obv. vice versa applies too).

My best case scenario is that I come out of this being able to join one of the other branch teams, effectively taking me out from under my boss's (mis)management, and giving me better support and basis for delivering some of the project stuff rather than trying to figure it out on my own. This is the best of the situation for me to be in while I job hunt.

Failing this my aim is to cause as little pain to myself short/medium term so that I can actually still do the job and turn up while I hunt for something else. It's fairly apparent that my boss would like me to leave - and actually I'm happy to oblige him.

I'm not exactly looking forward to the experience, but I feel so much more confident and capable.

I also applied for three jobs last night that are rather shiny looking! :) My plan for job hunting is: Seek is for non holding pattern jobs that excite me and that are career/passion centred. If I'm going to take another holding pattern job while I study, then I'll be trying to stay in government. We'll see what happens.

Wishing more than ever that I'd gotten the Workcover job. Ah well - I'm going to work on the assumption that it means something better is out there waiting.

My other plan for this meeting is to be calm, personable and relaxed. This will probably unnerve my boss as he knows I have a reasonably strong terror associated with these things. However, comments about coping mechanisms and growth tools being applied ruthlessly have done their job. He wants to dominate me, intimidate me and stuff? Fine. I can see that's what he's trying to do, and I don't have to engage/support that.

Where am I? Bocelli's Feeling... optimistic Compelled listening... the radio

I'm sorry that most of what you've all seen lately has been the bits of not so great stuff going on for me. It's true - things could be considerably better than they are right now :P

But the awesome thing is I really get that's within my control and power. *concentrates*


There's also some great stuff too.

For a start I got my uni results:

Introduction to Gender and Culture - Distinction (one point of HD!)

It looks like my wonderful tutor didn't actually deduct the almost 20% for the free writing pieces that were due weekly that I mostly didn't get in weekly. Perhaps it was that she added back the 2% for the genuine engagement I'd done with the lecture and the readings rather than just submit any old thing on time (given we were marked on doing it not content)? It was more important to me personally to do the work than to just hand something in anyway, so even if I'd had to wear the penalty it'd have been worth it for how much I learned.

Introduction to Mass Communication - Credit (I passed!!)

I had a scare with this being noted as 'did not submit/fail' but they hadn't received the electronic test I'd done, so once they'd found that it was all good. I did well in the exam - 17/20 for the questions, but largely didn't distinguish myself admirably for any of the other pieces which disappoints me. Not too much though because I did the best and everything I could to get my head around it - and I identified that there was something fundamental I wasn't getting, and asked for some support/tutoring on it, and was never able to access it, at which point *shrug* I get this will happen sometimes. It wasn't like I didn't also do the reading, and go to others for advice/support and to try and figure out what I was missing on my own.

Also, I'm volunteering for Supanova all weekend!! I'm excited about this, as it's a first for me! I had such a brilliant time last year with all the unexpectedness of getting to go to the VIP party. No idea if there's possibility of a repeat but moreso than the guests it'd be awesome to hang out with Daniel Z, mdep and other shiny people for an evening.

( more about job stuff, more positive this time )

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... relieved Compelled listening... nil

No awesome part time Workcover job for me :(

Where am I? work Feeling... sad Compelled listening... nil Define... # jobs

For lady_niav:




For drhoz:




Reposting rules of meme:
1. Reply to this post, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # icon love, meme

This is an icon I made myself, it's from an art piece shown as one of the APOD pictures called 'Primordial Quasar' and I just fell in love with the swirling colours and possibility and fantasy of it. It makes me feel like my imagination is dancing :) This has also been one of my main profile images/avatars for a couple of years now.

( the rest below the cut )

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... cold Compelled listening... nil Define... # icon love, meme, thoughtful

Let me preface this by saying, I understand the weather is no excuse.

However I'm just choosing to say home anyway.

Heavily influenced by weather, and that both times I was 3/4 ready to leave it was squally rainy. Turning up at work like a drowned rat is not on my list of desired activities.

That said, I love this kind of weather (though a little less of the wind), I love the sound of it as I'm sleeping, or working, or tucked up in bed having a quiet day.

Today's plan now includes:

- laundry
- bedroom tidying
- cooking some kind of bake thing for lunches this week
- i have a pumpkin, and was going to make a galette, however I may just make pumpkin soup - this is attractive today. (this may take the place of
- bath in the hope it helps my poor feet :( I've done something to my left foot, no idea what but there is pain.
- taking advantage of the chosen opportunity to enjoy a quiet day unexpectedly
- call my Mum

Icon because this is my background atm :)

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... cold Compelled listening... nil Define... # home, work

This is an awesome meme :)


1. Reply to this post, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

Respond to this post, I'll choose six of your icons, and you continue the meme by talking about them. It's FUN!

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # doctor who, icon love, meme

I just had a wonderful conversation with one of the Border's sales people on the phone. Quite by accident, based on the fact that I'm still looking for a copy of Joanna Russ' 'The Female Man' I'd love my own copy, but for the purposes of the reading group I'm trying to be part of, I'd settle for being able to get a hold of a borrowed copy from someone willing to find a way to easily catch up with me...

strangedave are you interested in lunch sometime next week? I have a query for you from the poly community too :)

I just love that I had a totally amazing conversation on feminist theory, invisibility of women's writing, books and in print and critical sales mass, copyright and early French plays with someone I'm entirely unlikely to ever meet... though I have to say the thought has crossed my mind that I could wander down to Border's and find out who I spoke to ;)

The world, it's people and the possibilities are shiny atm - especially the conversational ones. I'm loving it.

Where am I? Work Feeling... delighted Compelled listening... "Love and Attraction" - Darren Hayes Define... # amazing conversations, books, feminism, unexpected

I dated Fremantle last night and enjoyed a wonderful evening with dear friends. Perfect gnocchi with slow cooked goat, glass of Esmerelda white wine and San Churro's to finish. Home and lots of snuggles with K. Life is really -good-. I should find out about job today too.


Hanging out with callistra and amarillion today - awesomeness! Has been forever and I can't wait.

Hanging out with redbraids and rabbit1080 tomorrow - also of the awesome and it has also been forever! :)

Where am I? Bocelli's Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... Leo's playlist at Bocelli's

* Most productive day at work in months
* Had S and fleur_du_soir over for dinner tonight, and spoiled them by starting off with flat bread garlic bread all garliccy and crispy, followed by spinach and ricotta agnolotti mini lasagnes with a chicken tomato and bacon sauce, accompanied by a peppery green salad of leaves slivers of beetroot and carrot (not me, it came with the leaves) and to that I just added some blanched broccolini. I made the white chocolate and raspberry bread and butter pudding for dessert again, and had the pleasure of having fleur_du_soir fall in love with me (my cooking) all over again ^_^
* Was a lovely lovely night, good company and I'm rather proud of dinner.
* Finished my first ever fic for a fic challenge, not on time however. Many thanks to the incredible maharetr for handholding and beta-ing. Totally awesome.
* I should hear about the Workcover job this week.
* Tax for last year tomorrow, which will hopefully give me some money back as well as enable us for Rudd stimulation :P
* Had promising conversations with the bank this week, though they're stalled atm. Trying to refinance and clear my default at the same time from when the house was built (I am sure someone would like to stop having me pay this off per fortnight where they spend more on managing the debt than they get out of me paying it). Will see what happens, but I'm hoping that I can generate something with help of parents or something. This close to financial responsibility beyond paying bills on time. Aka, fixing this lingering annoying thing. Still, my bank has been awesome, and I really appreciate their customer service. Yay Westpac.
* Going to Freo with dear friends tomorrow night to catch up, should be awesome. Can't wait, I'm going to love spending time with friends, but I will love getting to be in Freo all on it's own - it's kind of like some sort of 'date night' with Freo :P How silly that sounds :P
* OMG bedtime. *falls over*

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil

I had a day just to veg today.

Given pain in feetses I did my best to stay off them today, and instead spent a ridiculous amount of time playing my new Sim game. What god complex? :P

Now, time for bed.

Tomorrow isn't looking too bad, if only because my boss isn't at work :) Small blessings.

Have had wonderful wonderful weekend and with today being alone and just for me after so much socialness, was just perfect.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # gamer girl, relaxation, self, weekend

* Work was work, boss is still frustrating and I am still resentful.
* Did actually work today. Also finished yet another Merry Gentry book. Yay fluffy ebooks for coping.
* How does it help my coping - aside from something to pass the time? I turn up. I don't even mind turning up. This is an improvement.
* Colleague is waiting to hear about her redundancy she applied for - she had discussion with boss today where apparently he was doing his usual 'i want a win/win here' and her response was, basically, give me my redundancy and employ someone who actually wants to do the work. It really does help not feeling alone.
* Minutes of Staff Liaison meeting did this awesome considerate thing where they suggested that minute taking for the branch meeting should rotate rather than just being something I'm lumped with.
* Broccoli soup for lunch = awesome.
* Still waiting to hear about Workcover job.
* Made white chocolate and raspberry bread and butter pudding for black_samvara's and maharetr's birthday party tomorrow night.
* Looking forward to justadecoy's birthday party on Saturday night
* However did look up flights to Melbourne for MS's birthday party also on Saturday night - just speculating of course, but kind of in a torturous and yet lovely way :) She was touched :)
* K and I cooked in the kitchen tonight, I was making the custard for the pudding and he decided to make pavlova with the left over egg whites I didn't need, this almost never happens and I really really loved it.
* I am working on some seriously awesome manifestation with the Universe :)
* talking on skype with subtle_eye who weirdly sounds like Barry White *boggle* *amusement*

There are enough dot points here...

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... flirty Compelled listening... skype conversationness!

Thank You...
If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Where am I? home Feeling... waking up Compelled listening... nil Define... # love, thankful

* Slept through alarm, and phone was on silent so reminder alarm as backup didn't go off :P
* Sleep was good though!!
* Upside of being late to work, was I missed the daily meeting with boss *urgh*, downside was that I spent half an hour printing my time sheets that he decided he wanted to look over (I've been meaning to do this anyway)
* My most trusted and favourite work colleague is off to work on another floor in a day or three, which is awesome for him but not so much for me.
* Lunch with agoodliedown which was wonderful. I love her so much.
* Still waiting impatiently to hear about Workcover job... still really want it.
* Must get a hold of "The Female Man" and "The Story of V" for online reading groups.
* Must decide on dessert for birthday party Friday night.
* Must order birthday present for MS that is perfect.
* Must sleep soon.
* Went to Joe Egg with wolflullaby which angriest was acting in tonight, though we managed not to arrive quite in time before the lock out, and so read and chatted for the first hour, and saw the second half of the play and aforementioned angriest being awesome with the other actors. Play was macabre and funny - though I seemed to laugh in lots of places others didn't. Was lovely evening in wonderful company.
* Bed is warm.
* I appear to be freewriting...er dotpointing...

I think I'll stop now.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, birthday, culture, day to day, dot points, jobs, life, work

* avoided meeting with boss, so day had several productive spurts, including on filing ridiculousness.
* did awesome assisting shift tonight
* had wonderful sms exchange, nothing special save the feeling of connection.
* spent some time with people who had new awareness of possibility in their lives - rather inspiring.
* in bed, warm and have sleep complimenting tea
* kitties are warm and affectionate
* fell in love with K all over again as he put the bins out before he left tonight
* sleep time now...

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil Define... # dot points

I had such a lovely day today, it was just made of win, filled with happiness and lovely people to share that with!

I woke up early enough to get 'stuff' done, then maharetr mentioned the train strike, so we arranged that she'd do driving stuffs and I'd navigate and provide support/coping.

We met up with mr_booboo and N and D and J along with ascetic_hedony and caitlen who was unexpectedly still in Perth today :) Yum cha was -good- (it takes a lot for me to say this given my overdose on su mai a couple of years back), but they even had one of my favourites which is the little semi circle pork dumplings that are steamed then quickly fried and served with a vinegar sauce. Alas they didn't bring out any of the triangular baked pastries with bbq pork in them. Mango pudding, can't ever get enough.

After we meandered through Northbridge a little, and then I suggested that there could be 'high tea' in Mt Lawley! Alas ascetic_hedony had to go off to work, but caitlen, maharetr and I decided that the day was ripe for indulgence and impulsive high tea escapades!

We went to Leaf Tea on Walcott street, and tried some wonderful tasting teas (I bought some unexpectedly, and now I officially have too much tea.) We soaked up the atmosphere, which even included a surprise running into the awesomelicious special_trille!

maharetr confessed to never having been to Planet Books, and neither had caitlen so that was our next port of call, we wandered amongst the shelves and there were several birthday presents found!

maharetr joined us for dinner and I did a slow cooked kind of 'Navarin of Lamb' with steamed and roasted veggies and cheese soufflé :) prk then turned up and we had Rose Petal tea, and just as maharetr was leaving I made good on my promise to K and Cam for immediate dishes by making Golden Syrup Dumplings which went down a treat. Kitchen is now clean and I am warm in bed with music, the puppy and K on his way to bed soon.

I am feeling full and replete, relaxed and very content. Feeling sleepy too, bedtime soon.

Another week, where hopefully I will find out if I got the Workcover WA job *fingers crossed*

Also, I have to mention that maharetr did amazing driving feats of skill, determination and competence - more on that over on her lj post about today :)

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... cheerful and tired Compelled listening... "Hot Tub Blues" - We Are Smug Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, books, cookery, relaxation, social, tea, weekend, yum cha

So... I finally got my import to work - yay!!!

Um... now what?

Things I'm unsure of and would love some suggestions on:

LJ/Dreamwidth synchronised posting - how to?
Reading pages and circles and huh? I don't get it yet.
Comments...
Friends and groups and stuff...

Anything on how you went about making it 'work' is what I'm interested in.

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... tired and happy Compelled listening... "My World, My Love, My Life" - Roxette

mr_booboo and I are going to Yum Cha today, we'd love you to join us.

1pm at Golden Century opposite Russell Square :)

Drop me a comment or sms if you'd like to join us :)

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # social, yum cha

*happiness*

K and I decided to reacquaint ourselves today and take advantage of the fact that neither of us had anything on in the middle of the day. We had lunch at Zushi Bento, which I wanted to like more than I did, and then went to the cinema to see 'I Love You, Man' which surprisingly enough, despite being dragged kicking and screaming (well, kind of), I actually really enjoyed. There was lots of realism, moments of cringe where you just see yourself doing the same/similar things. It was also genuinely funny and not in a terrible stupidity comedy that I hate with an undying passion. Nice take on a romantic comedy.

Now sitting at Dome, about to move and am having dinner with black_samvara soon which will be lovely.

Also, mr_booboo and I are going to go to yum cha tomorrow, and currently the very sketchy details are: Golden Century restaurant, opposite Russell Square, 1pm. If you'd like to come, drop me a comment or sms? Also, given our lack of organisation the details could change, so make sure I have your details too :P

Okay, time to be kicked out now.

ETA: Time for Yum Cha is now 1pm.

Where am I? Dome, Carousel Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... people in the background. Define... # friends, k, love, movies, relationships, social, spending time, yum cha

Or rather, an amusing and heartwarming rendition of the Ode to Joy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A

This was a great addition to my morning!



Last night I went to the opening of my friend L's exhibition - stephbg this is the same Under Seven Skies artist I mentioned ages back - the exhibition is on at the Fibonacci Centre if you're interested and I believe will be open this weekend.

The opening was incredibly inviting, community based and heartwarming. I was struck by the art again, in particular the 'Love Tree' piece, I just adore this piece. There were many pieces worth gazing on. I was meant to get over to the House of Books and Dogs after, but ended up having dinner with R, who cooked for me, and I got to meet his dogs :) It was quiet and delightful and good to catch up.


Today K and I are going to reacquaint ourselves with each other and have lunch and see a movie :)

Tonight I'm catching up with black_samvara as it's been forever indeed :)

The weekend is shaping up well indeed and I'm slowly pulling my heart into enjoyment of being in Perth again - it's still a little bit in Melbourne :)

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... Ode to Joy (in my head now) Define... # art, friday night, friends, joy, love, perth, social

But no brain.

Oh yes, tonight is a dot point update...

* went to work - didn't work very much at all
* did do invoice and letters for swancon
* did a brilliant interview for a part time secondment out at Workcover WA, level up and 3 days a week - awesome!
* soup for lunch, thai pumpkin = yum
* cooking frenzy tonight:

- navarin of lamb (in crock pot now)
- variation on gary's soup, using lamb instead of ham hock, still needs lots of simmering
- chilli con skippy
- one hour bread

I also have left to do:
- lamb cassoulet
- hommus
- cake or desserty thing

* puppy is curled up asleep and dreaming beside me
* K and Cam are both sick with manflu, I am healthy. This after 2 plane flights, camping in the wet, cold and damp, and being in the apparent swine flu capital of australia... go figure.
* time for boston legal and then sleep
* I have (imo) the prettiest mark on my shoulder from MS *swoon* Why can't I have a zoomy tunnel to Melbourne?

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil Define... # cookery, dot points, family, job stuff, swancon

I am home in bed and this is lovely!

That said, I miss Melbourne already. I am perhaps trying to convince someone to run away to Melbourne with me later this year :)

Had airport kerfuffle of interesting learning. Will avoid flying Tiger again if I can at all avoid it - longer story than I have brain to tell tonight. I am home, this is the important bit.

Big love and appreciation to ascetic_hedony for picking me up tonight, I was so pleased to see the friendly face though my forward planning reasoning turned out to be groundless :)

Bits of stuff to note:

- T2 Sleap Tight tea is lovely.
- The family (including critters) missed me
- Am using Google Chrome since Firefox did something odd and vanished all my bookmarks and history and stuff.
- e_dan and MS were lovely in checking some clunking going on around my laptop and now it is much more efficient and runs far more smoothly *hugs it*
- I was using my laptop with mobile broadband on the tram this afternoon - so awesome.
- My bed and my pillows are comfy.

I'm doing really well, I'm still in a very good space regarding changing of relationships - hard to think of it as an ending since I really don't feel I've lost anything.

I got to spend last night and today with MS which was -wonderful- and while I didn't manage to get a new picture of us together (omg time was not on my side today), I do have one from March that was rather amusing :)

*is swoony* I adore her so much :)

The world is a shiny place and now that I've emptied my brain of trivia, time for sleep.

Oh, btw - I did my essay exam on Tuesday and think I did really well. I have some amusing comments on this - some of it is me feeling proud of what I did with it all by the time I asked e_dan to look over my plan and help me finish it off.


Okay, now that I've emptied the trivia from my brain, sleep :)

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil Define... # exams, family, google, love, melbourne, relationships, study, tea, thoughtful, university

Otherwise known as: e_dan and I broke up Sunday afternoon.

What I feel is important for me to say in addition to this is; that it's the right decision in the direction of mutual fulfillment and happiness. We're both obviously disappointed that breaking up ended up as the best decision and way to shift things and move forward - but in saying that, we're both clear that we didn't do anything wrong - but all the right things didn't help.

What is also important and gets it's own paragraph is the fact that we maintain a huge body of love, respect and trust. Resetting things like this enables the possibility of the kind of connection that we've been missing, and I'm looking forward to that.

I am mostly doing well with all of this, though obviously sad and disappointed in some ways. There is a lot of ease and freedom here as well.

I'm fortunate in that since I haven't really broken up with someone since before Kaneda - nothing inside of this kind of context at all, and if it was going to happen with anyone then e_dan has been wonderful. I'm pretty sure this also means that I'm also good in this sphere as well.

Support in general has been wonderful - the poly community here in Victoria is just incredible like that. Lots of support and love, mutual validation and no wrong-making. I'm missing many of you in Perth however, and am looking forward to coming home (but not back to work).

Where am I? e_dan's apartment Feeling... indescribable Compelled listening... the rain outside :) Define... # change, connectionism, disappointment, e_dan, emo, hope, love, moving forward, possibilities, relationships, respect, trust

I feel utterly gorgeous tonight, for no particular reason :)

Where am I? Tenth Muse - Brunswick St Melbourne Feeling... self indulgent Compelled listening... "Time of your Life" - Greenday Define... # self, sensuality

You are such a seductive city. I am utterly smitten.

I post from The Tenth Muse, as mentioned in previous post, where they have WIFI. As if the place hadn't been outstanding BEFORE that :P

I'm drinking wine, giving e_dan a chance to have some time to himself, then will be heading back to the apartment and we'll head off to Bendigo at some point.

I shopped today - initially only because I wanted to buy something for K and Cam as a gift because you know, I love them, and I'm here in Melbs and I love giving presents. Also, they're tending the house and are loving and wonderful partners so gifts = good :) Found something awesome :)

Bought a ring for myself - it's a kitty, and it looks like it's curled around my little finger playfully, I love it.

I also went to a wonderful store - and if you're on Brunswick Street I highly recommend this, it's called "Mazi" and possibly also 'Made in Melbourne', but they are WONDERFUL I wish I could have spent a lot more money there. I bought a single wrap top that is a little bit like my Intimo ones but a bit dressier, and there were 2 other pieces. The assistant there was a wonderful lady and she had great suggestions for shapes and fits and colours and I even tried on a very loud print - which I usually avoid like the plague and really liked it. I may have made friends with her - I'll be contacting her to have coffee with me when I'm next in Melbs.

I found a jewellery place that had me try on the top I just bought and presented me with some beautiful jewellery that I would love to have bought, but you know, tight budget this time around. It was really well suited :)

I found a kind of style of hats that actually suit me!!! I wanted very much to buy one, but again, budget... but it was gorgeous and cute and could even do casual and dressy all at once! I didn't buy it, but I want to order it when I get home, also, I did buy gloves there - they are fingerless but have a mitten cover :) They're a little bit odd which I like :)

I spent most of the afternoon with a girl I met last time I was here, she's the partner of one of MS's partners (oh poly, I love you) and we loved hanging out today - it was good for both of us :) If I spend a few months over here I may stay with her :) If that works out all I'd have to do is work out the whole job thing. It's exciting though - everything seems possible :)

But in short, fuck I love Melbourne - and I love it as the city itself - I'm more and more convinced of this, because yes I know and love people over here, but it doesn't quite explain my joy at being back at Tenth Muse, or that I found a coffee/bar that makes great coffee with an owner who is cool and chatty, and lots of other little things that I just want to really enjoy!

e_dan mentioned something last night which resonated strongly with me, and I won't go deeply into it, but the gist of it was that in the growth I seem to be doing I seem to be engaging in a journey of real self discovery and expression, moving outside the bounds and guides and supports of my various 'communities' (loose term, not just swancon etc) and really discovering who I choose to be as a person, and what I want to bring to the world. I feel a bit easier about the difficulty and angst and uncertainty I've experienced over this inside of that particular conversation - it makes sense and it gives me a realm to explore, even if the prospect is frankly terrifying - but on the otherside - who knows?

I get to discover who I really am and this cannot be a terrible thing. I know who I am loosely, I know who I am in relation to various communities and other external things - but right now I think I am working out who I am for myself and for the world as a whole. It's less scary now, and a bit more exciting!

I realised today that part of me is missing being at the Natcon... but a lot of me isn't. I am right now, right where I should be. I'm starting to love that.

Where am I? Tenth Muse - Brunswick St Melbourne Feeling... jubilant Compelled listening... "Happy Ending" - Mika

http://maps.google.com.au/maps?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=10th+muse+melbourne&fb=1&split=1&gl=au&view=text&latlng=50379210896990667

This is where e_dan and I ended up for dinner last night - and oh it was brilliant. I really love this place and would love to go back there, possibly before I leave :)

It's a cool cafe restaurant run by dykes. The food is great, the wine is excellent, the service is fun, friendly and very very good.

Absolutely brilliant night :)


Before we ended up at 10th Muse, I managed to join the RMIT Library (which looks very cool and was very easy to set myself up to research stuff) and then when e_dan joined me after work, we headed up to the University of Melbourne so that I could do the same there - we had fun wandering around looking for the Ballieu Library, and once all that was done, found ourselves in some sort of meeting room with a whiteboard, where e_dan was teaching me how to analyse sign systems - using the code of universities as an example. It was fascinating and we're not quite finished, but it was fascinating and charming.

We also had a discussion that had a specific focus, but specific focus required a huge background of information that is now immortalised on a napkin in green ink, that loosely tells about the history of people and their belief systems. It was amazing and I'm boggled by the timeframes - I'd tell you more but you'd need to see the napkin to really appreciate it :)

Also managed to articulate my position on marriage successfully, and in doing so appreciated new clarity yet again on the subject. In short, it's not unlike e_dan's (nor exactly alike either) but in that critical place where you have choice, I've chosen to engage, and engage on my terms (which I will either succeed or fail in) whereas, I could choose to not engage with it.

Also, I have discovered that I don't particularly like cryptic crosswords, I keep wanting the whole clue to make sense and as I understand this, it really doesn't, or only does if the writer of the crossword is also making a joke. :P

Tonight e_dan and I head off to Bendigo which will be just brilliant. I can't wait!

Hope all of you at the Natcon are having fun :)

P.S. It really was easier to wait and go to Lush in Melbourne than try to get to the Perth store. Stupid.

Where am I? e_dan's apartment Feeling... bouncy Compelled listening... "I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz

I am awake, and it's just after 6 in Perth, and just after eight here.

I may snooze for a little after posting this, then I'm off to visit tikiwanderer and Sparrow. Will also go by University of Melbourne and work out where I need to go for my exam Tuesday, and join their library. I'll also then go to RMIT and join their library and probably some more deliberate preparation for my exam.

Must keep reminding self: have an opinion, talk about situated knowledge, possibly throw in a metaphor or two and some semiotics = you will be fine. You know this stuff. (rinse, repeat)

So I was met by the beautiful MS at the airport, and we held hands through the cage at the Tiger terminal waiting for my suitcase. It was so sweet, and then I was outside the airport and there were kisses and more snuggles (then hurrying out of the cold).

I arrived at e_dan's very cute apartment, and then there was snuggling and eventually sleep (it was only 11pm in my head, and I haven't been going to bed till around 1am so yeah...) There were cuddles and familiar limbs and movements, sounds. I woke up smiling.

So, now there will be snoozing before heading out to Altona North. Possibly coffee on the way :)

Where am I? e_dan's apartment Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil

Mobile broadband for the win, very happy with Virgin so far. Probably swapping my phone over :)


At airport, have consumed passable glass of wine, will be boarding momentarily :)

Oh look, there's my boarding call :)


I can't wait to hang out with my loves in Melbourne - will be fantabulous!

Weekend away looks to be rather relaxing and decadent - Calli, think Fairbridge x 10 or so is the impression I get.

Cannot wait for MS snuggles at 1am and e_dan snuggles at about 2am. Absolutely brilliant.

Okay, must go, boarding and flying and all that :)

Enjoy the Natcon my lovelies - i expect lots of con reports to live vicariously through! Also you should tell Calli to sms me or ask for my number to sms me - that would be awesome :)

*bounces*

Also, love is K waking up early in the cold this morning to help me with my suitcase to the bus :) He also came into the city to have lunch with me :)

Where am I? Perth Airport Feeling... loving and excited! Compelled listening... nil

In the past couple of days I have:

( cut - i seem to have achieved a lot! )

Where am I? home Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... K sleeping beside me Define... # academic, dot points, e_dan, life, love, melbourne, study, thoughtful, update, work

Amanda Fucking Palmer is so fucking cool.

And it looks like she'll be back in Australia at the end of the year! Woot!!

Where am I? home Feeling... happy Compelled listening... nil Define... # amanda palmer

...how hard I am blushing right now. Lalalalalalala!

Where am I? home Feeling... flirty Compelled listening... nil Define... # flirting, moments, study

Or why I find intelligence so freaking hot.

So, there was a lecture the other day, on semiotics that didn't record properly. Given my field of study, I feel like while it would be easy to handwave and figure I'd pick it up later, that it's probably one of those foundation understanding thingys that underpins a whole lot. So I've been trying to make sure I have a good understanding of it.

Speaking to e_dan this afternoon, turns out that he has the working theory and history and associated about semiotics in his head. So I've spent the last little while being entertained and enjoying a really good comprehensive run down on what semiotics is and means.

Academically speaking I'm delighted, grateful and impressed.

Romantically speaking, I'm delighted, swooning and appreciating his French pronounciation of the French theorists involved. *blush* Utterly hot, the whole lot of it.

How far away is Wednesday again? *grins*

Where am I? home Feeling... impressed Compelled listening... nil

That you love someone so much, that their sleepy murmurs make you teary.

I go to bed smiling.

Tomorrow I tackle more semiotics, and my essay plan.

Where am I? home Feeling... loving Compelled listening... nil Define... # k, love, moments to remember

It was my Mum's birthday on Friday, and we're going out to dinner tonight, but they were on their way back from Harvey and dropped around.

I gave Mum her birthday present, the first I've given her in a couple of years and she really liked it.

fleur_du_soir helped me pick it and it really was perfect for her.

I'm just feeling a lot of love and gladness atm, and wanted to note it so as to keep the memory close.



Lingerie party in a little bit - very cosy gathering planned which will be really nice :)

Where am I? home Feeling... pleased Compelled listening... "This is My Song" - Carbon Leaf Define... # family, intimo, lingerie, mum, presents

For me.

This is a thought I've been having for a little while - and by that I mean over twelve months, and periodically over several years previously. Something new made sense recently though, and now that I've ticked it over into my brain a little I wanted to mention it a little.

( cut because it's probably not as coherent as I want it to be, also I get a bit impassioned )

Where am I? home Feeling... loving Compelled listening... nil

Is realising that even if the conversation wasn't 'perfect' and meet the standard or ideal i have of the conversation - aka, both of us getting to talk and both of us left feeling good...

It was us. It was me. It was the other person. That's not a loss. Therefore, not a loser.

Where am I? home Feeling... content Compelled listening... nil Define... # conversation, self analysis, thoughtful

Currently on letting go of being a loser because in a habit formed out of nervousness and a desire not to impose expectation, I babbled in a conversation with someone today - not the useful kind (there -is- a useful kind) and they eventually told me to stop (thank you), that they wanted to have a conversation but I kept filling the space.

So yeah, silly habit to have picked up (again), and it really doesn't make me a loser, but this person does deserve better of me.

Thus the resolution to the conversation is... I can give better than this conversation today.

My hope is that today didn't put them off because I actually really enjoy talking to them, and there's heaps of stuff going on for both of us that i want to enjoy the engagement on...

Despite having done this today (and probably other times), i'm not interested in babbling, i much prefer the engagement and usually am much better at relaxing and being in that actual genuine conversation space - today that wasn't the case, but i'm giving up making that or myself wrong too.

This more for my own reference than anything else and to shift being sad about it.

Where am I? home Feeling... sad Compelled listening... nil Define... # conversation, self, self analysis, thoughtful

Hi all,

I fail at getting everything I needed to get done outside of work this week (work in contrast was really productive...)

I have an Imtimo party scheduled this Sunday afternoon at my house from 2:30pm.

Calli promises me that there is red underwear of awesomeness - which I know some of us adore, and there is other awesome new season stuff that is -not- red too :)

If you can't make it but are interested let me know, I can either organise for you to put in an outside order or get Calli to contact you for a party if you like :) (I love my Intimo parties for the discount)

In any case, if nothing else it would be lovely to see people and catch up :)

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, intimo, parties, social

You were completely right about the DAAS version of 'Throw Your Arms Around Me'. I now understand your disbelief between Minchin and DAAS for my previously uneducated pov. If only I found DAAS funny. I do now understand how awesome Paul McDermott is. Thank you for sharing the goodness :)

In return I offer you the Carbon Leaf I promised...

Here is 'What About Everything' set to my favourite Doctor Who songvid by Calapine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxyD9NyfLX8

And here is one of my other favourite songs, the reason it is my favourite is actually indicative in the title "Live a Life Less Ordinary":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNfWJDboisU

And just because, the Regina Spektor cover of "Hallelujah" which took the place of Jeff Buckley's version as my favourite:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oa_q6Jnukg

Last but not least, Darren Hayes 'Who Would Have Thought' - I am hoping this will be kind of for you what 'Daystar' was for me tonight.... also, I love the animation in this and thought you might appreciate it :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-25FoOrh9M

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... "Hallelujah" - Jeff Martin Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, carbon leaf, darren hayes, music

If all goes well, someone useful will have put my laptop aside, and will be waiting for me to call.

*fingers crossed*

Where am I? home on K's pc Feeling... hopeful Compelled listening... nil Define... # laptop