Very quickly - I should be asleep!


I got an amazing email today. I got an amazing post card today. Both from people that I have some involvement with in one fashion or another, and neither of them live in the state.

Given I've been feeling somewhat singularly focused, either feeling single or totally focused on K, the reconnection with the actual existence of my poly life was fan-fucking-tastic!!

( cut for those uninterested )

Where am I? home in bed Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # appreciation, desire, hunger, moments to remember, poly, sensuality, sharing

That you love someone so much, that their sleepy murmurs make you teary.

I go to bed smiling.

Tomorrow I tackle more semiotics, and my essay plan.

Where am I? home Feeling... loving Compelled listening... nil Define... # k, love, moments to remember

I spent today filled with love and community, spirituality and an appreciation for life and ritual. It was incredibly moving and special. I hope your day was perfect, and thank you for inviting me to share in the experience and celebration with you.

Where am I? home Feeling... loving Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, love, loving, moments to remember, thoughtful, transcendence

Wow. Two years of my life is ebbing.

I'm elated. I'm sad. I'm relieved. I'd work with this committee again in a heartbeat.

I love all of you I got to work with, in many cases I either hand picked you, recruited you or told prk to recruit you, and I delighted in seeing what I thought was possible truly come to life.

You were all so amazing.

It has taken me all afternoon to catch up on the backlog of my life, as you can see by how much I scrolled back through - this is also me scrolling past the community posts for the most part. Wow. Busy holiday period :P

Many thanks to all of you who came along to Contact: Swancon 2009 this year, you all really made the convention and the two most consistent comments I've received are:

* gaming was outstanding and filled with eager new faces as well as those who are familiar to the lure of a game. People felt invited in and loved being able to easily and without embarrassment learn new games.
* the social nature of things being relaxed, very friendly and inviting. I spoke to several first time con goers, several approached me to talk to me about stuff they were enjoying or looking for. People going to swancon for ages commented to me how many people they'd met and spoken to that they hadn't before - both new people and just people that were fellow swanconners, but they'd never had the chance to chat to before.

There were several highlights for me, of which I can barely begin to touch on given how tired I am right now:

* My committee - all of them. Thank you for being so awesome!!!
* My room mate babalon_93 who on Friday morning at 6am when I first woke up, snuggled closer to me, and said 'Oh you're awake! It's 8am for me, and I've already slept in 2 hrs, can it be cuddle time now?' Seriously, this was one of the most touching moments of the con for me.
* The committee dinner at the end was also something I was glad I insisted on keeping as an 'optional' thing. Mainly because I thought it may be the first/only opportunity for our committee to meet and chat to the guests, and secondly by the Monday evening we were all going to be 'people' and not 'on show' and so the interaction between everyone was kind, and social, relaxed and informal - it was a bunch of friends going out for dinner rather than a formal affair. Also, the food was most excellent at Di Malaysia - William St, next to Aida and I may have remembered the name wrong.
* kathrynlinge's Tin Duck win for the Swancon 2009 logo - YAY! I still love this piece of art!
* Rebel Empire's demo - seriously amazing stuff. I am so PROUD of all that kae_dash has worked for with his group for the past months - they've been dedicated and tireless. The performance was the best choreography, performance, writing etc that he's produced to date - my favourite bit was the 32 person melee fight that was just so seamless it was amazing. The make up and costuming and characterisation that everyone put into their characters was amazing. I am extremely proud of K for inspiring people who would never have thought they could perform in front of a large group, to do so - and in such a physical and spectacular way. It. was. incredible. Well done beloved, and to aescapulius who has done most of the support work and partner-petting for this project of K's :) (this is why I love being poly!)
* Wrangling TR into being nice to JW for the next 14 months as JW is the 2010 treasurer and thus must be cherished and supported :) The three of us are having a great deal of hilarity in this - as it's all based in love :P I'm just offering an opportunity for TR to express said love in a different way :P
* Being voted onto the WASFF Board again. I reiterate my promise, to continue being your voice, your link and being willing to have the conversations. I will always do my best for you.
* Slightly less harried parents, happier children enjoying doing things they were interested in - I got shown at least one picture :) I also enjoyed cuddling a certain baby who was the happiest grumpy 'i refuse to sleep' baby in the world :P He was so cute!

One of the totally unexpected highlights:

* RW awarding me the inaugural WASFF Chairperson's award, for contribution to WASFF and Swancons. This still hasn't sunk in, I'm still overwhelmed and shocked. This is for two reasons:
1. This is the only Chair's Award he'll give out, being the outgoing Chair.
2. He's been to over 20 Swancons, and been Chairing (or at least on) the WASFF Board for 7 years - and given the huge array of people who contribute and do amazing service to the convention, the Board and the community.... in all honesty I just can't quite get my head around, that he picked me.

I am truly humbled and honoured. I truly love this community and it is important to me to be involved in the support, growth and making of the community, this space and this group of people as a whole will always be special to me - so thank you; for being you and inspiring me. Thank you to RW for awarding me, I am truly touched and will treasure the experience always.

Btw, robshearman - you were missed! *big hugs*

There's so much more - late nights and awesome conversations, new friends, old friends, panels and food and and and and... so much more. I already can't wait till next year!

Where am I? home Feeling... i have no words Compelled listening... just the wind :) Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, community, fandom, love, moments to remember, sc2009, swancon, tin ducks, transcendence, wasff

Details:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me!"
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on...

I have some questions to answer, but I think I will do so after having slept.

Obviously in the spirit of 'if you wish', also I realise I'm supposed to have put answers with this and haven't.

I would also like to say that I have the best friends in the world.


Favourite moments from today:

I got to have lunch with azhure!!!! *bounce bounce bounce* She is warm, and lovely and I really enjoyed the conversation! It was just.... shiny :) And she gave me a very cute little shiny with a strawberry!!! *nomnomnom* Yay :)

I got to speak with MS for about an hour today on the phone. I am adoring getting to know her, and I really miss the days/week between calls when we're busy. I love being friends with her and knowing that we're enjoying becoming friends outside of our ties to e_dan. That we both have the experience of more connection, more inclusion and things being all around easier through having developed our own connection, is well... enthralling. I love it.

I burbled happily on the phone to e_dan this evening, and asked him how he planned to deal with both MS and I both being giggly and exuberant at him. :P He suggested it was a good question :P *bounce giggle*

Chatting with ascetic_hedony in the car about cognition and other related things... sharing some of the stuff I've been getting and learning out of the self enquiries I've been doing. He's one of my closest confidantes, and I always value his opinion, love and support.

Icon just because omg, I think it's hot.

Where am I? home Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, e_dan, laughter, meme, moments to remember, relationships, sharing

I am awed, and overcome.

This is a moment I will remember forever.







Also: puppy in the White House!

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... NBC in the background Define... # making the world a better place, moments to remember, us election, us politics, usa

1. Driving to the airport to pick up a wayward mynxii at 2:30am.

Big Love to black_samvara who is incredible.

2. Going without portable tech at a convention because a mynxii needed some sort of tech to go to Melbourne with her to deal with being away from everyone given everything. K was going to get it back to her for the weekend, but didn't end up happening.

So Big Love to callistra and cheshirenoir


I'm deeply grateful, on the level that the words just aren't enough.

Where am I? home Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... "The Sea" - Carbon Leaf Define... # amazing friends, moments to remember

Friday night - Unexpected dinner with girliejones, my favourite people collected at the House of B&D, open armed cuddles, joy and sensuality and appreciation :) The Middleman and Supernatural!

Saturday - shopping, including finding portable shade for picnic following day, hunt was successful in all ways. Also got lots done on assignmen. Prepared massive amounts of picnic food, including gourmet sandwiches, cut fruit and veggies.

Sunday - picnic!! We all went in together in the taxi in the end, taxi driver was awesome. I don't have the words to describe just how good the day was. I lounged the entire day with companion e_dan, whom I hadn't seen in what felt like far too long :) My beloved kae_dash and new boyfriend aescapulius galvanted like young crazy people in love - it looked very much like a cutesy anime, omg the cute was a diabetic epidemic! You can see that from this image:
http://aoyagi-seimei.deviantart.com/art/Pride-Faire-08-010-99205626

How cute is that??? Much appreciation to madame_red_au for capturing such a heart stopping moment on film. I can't actually express the joy this picture brings me - and I imagine from the outside that it's a little hard to appreciate how a portrait of K and C having a beautiful moment together could make my heart soar... and oh it does! It does!

K's happiness is part of what makes me happy - and this is something that adds an immense dimension to his life - and it's not one that I can give, at which point I can't begrudge that someone else can. Well, I could, but I choose not to, instead I enjoy the companionship and closeness that they share with me, and that out of the process, I also get a new friend.

( Where I begin to muse, and probably ramble )
Okay... way to get side tracked. Weekend.

Picnic was gorgeous, several people came by and shared time in the sunshine and general lazy ambience that we were projecting. There was much admiration for my shade cubby that also provided wind cover ^_^ I was delighted to share lunch with bardiegrub and shortblack, plus jobaby and family set up shop next to us too which was really nice too :) (and family short for the lj names I don't have please feel free to add in comments).

I loved the stalls and wandering, I saw so many friends, and many of them commented on K and C being adorabubble (plus extra bubble). The lovely guy I met who works at The Court and whom has the amazing -voice- was there and was kind enough to recognise me sans the gorgeous make up murg had done for me last time we went out. His voice (which is to say his voice in particular and not the equally lovely Scotts accent) is still delightful to hear.

( more rambling )

Home and tiredness, glomphed the boys in greeting - had missed them! And just marvelled at the feeling of -family- around me, and that all was right in the world - and it was a reverberating feeling from the boys too. It's just so damn good! It just keeps getting better!

I'll probably make a separate entry on Pride in general - this is too full of 'stuff' as it is :)

The weekend was utterly perfect as far as all the important and even unimportant measures I can think of go - I just can't actually convey in real words the sense of happiness, contentment, joy and vibrancy for life, the world and the people around me. Would that I could distill and bottle this...

Where am I? DPC Feeling... enthralled Compelled listening... "Flames" - VAST Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, amour, companions, family, intimacy, k, life, moments to remember, pride, self, transcending

I have gotten to the very very end of a beautiful weekend. It has been so moving and memorable, loving and laughter filled. I can't relate it all to you now - I neeeeeed to get to sleep.

But in short, I am supremely happy right now, and am putting my general sense of overwhelming gratefulness out there to the universe, so it knows that I've noticed how awesome it all is, and how much I appreciate it!

I am feeling utterly brimful, and yet stretchy with capacity.

I'm so in love with my life and those in it.

Special love goes to maharetr for being her beautiful self.


Adorkable appreciation goes to kae_dash and aescapulius - anyone who was at Fairday and came along to the picnic at any point will know what I mean. SO CUTE!


I've hit a new kind of sensory overload - still of the very best kind, that fills the heart overflowing to all around me. It may be a little tidal.

Special love goes also to e_dan because, wow doesn't actually cover it.

Where am I? home Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, appreciation, intimacy, life, love, moments to remember, sensory overload, universe

* Big love to girliejones for unexpectedly being able to meet me for dinner - much joy was expressed, mad plans hatched though no coherence and context attached and sharing of long weeks, thoughts and problems and just.... yeah I wanted to share and spend the time with her and when I called her, totally didn't think it possible, and then it was! *joy* So very glad.

* Appreciation for those who had conversations with me today. I know that being so tired I was barely speaking English at all and reverted to pretty much pure 'Ju-ism'. Sorry. I am deeply impressed at the sophisticated level of translation :)

* Apologies to all of you whom will be reading over the next few years my forays into study - as my realisation this week, is that no matter what topic I happen to be exploring, I can't see a way in which I won't be directly engaging with the subject, and finding a personal context to consider it in, or a way to be moved by it, engage emotively with it. I'm aware that this is one of those intense things about me that can be 'too much' so just thought I'd make a blanket apology now :)

* Having said that I really want to state that really, at this point in my life I am supremely happy, content and filled with joy and love. The stress and challenges are infinitely achievable/slayable and often things I've chosen to take on for personal growth - even considering that yesterday, and today and possibly the next couple I am feeling cynical as a person, I cannot actually fail to realise how deeply blessed I am in my life. As far as my eyes can see into time, and love and possibility - it just keeps getting better baby. Bring it on :)

* I have the bestest tutor for Reinventing Australia in the whole wide world, and I wish I could elect to keep him as my tutor for other things too - though I am aware it doesn't work like that :) I compare him against all of you whom I have regular conversations about stuff, or who read my drafts or answer my questions or offer me suggestions... he meets your measure and I hope beyond the semester of being his student, that we might just foster a friendship out of it :)

And now, given all the non sleep I've been having, it is BEDTIME.

* Friday nights are balm and joy, and I love my close friends there so very very much, I also love, love, love beyond all reason: "The Middleman" it's that brilliant. Supernatural S4, is also hot and seems to suggest that it won't disappoint. All this and love too - how is this not a win?

*CLINGS TO PILLOWS*

I also want to make another special mention of aescapulius who in the night of knuckling down and finishing my research proposal looked after me well by tending K who was sick and miserable, making sure I ate dinner and got dessert, and offered me regular cups of tea or help and cuddles while I worked on my assessments, and more than that - he's been doing this for the past week. It's made a huge difference, and really I am hugely grateful. That you bring such joy to K's face is magic and I could love you for that alone :)

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic if tired Compelled listening... puppy wanting to play Define... # amazing friends, moments to remember, social, study, uni

I'm home from femmeconne, and I have so much to say. Yet not right now.

My heart and love and admiration to: redbraids, because your bravery is the very crux that I seek to promote. girliejones because you share with me so openly and I am honoured with your trust - you're still great, and it's still okay. I promise - and you can still call me any time to check this. callistra who is powerful, an enabler and provides an amazing space to relax, explore and be with the amazing women around us - space and time for a meeting of minds - you're incredible. indescribble for the reality of truth and bravery - you're not alone. kitsune_ii *much cuddles and comfort* black_samvara - you are a knight in shining armour and I love you so very much, through you I learn so much, and so many better ways to move through the world.

That's just the tip of the iceberg -- I'll never have the words to tell you what you all mean to me. But I will try.

Things on my mind right now:

- programming for next year's Femmeconne, a debrief post and also call for suggestions for next time that came out of the con this year :)
- making the brownies
- my assignment - it's well written but isn't clear on what it's saying, so I need to address that - I anticipate time spent with cupidsbow tomorrow will fix that. I will get this right, I will. *mantra*
- I need to formulate my assignment question, so I'm trying to narrow down something in the field of family and the projected ideals versus the reality - probably tied to the Howard era - suggestions on how to go about this formulation are very welcome.
- networking night will be a go - I'll be posting/organising it and let you know details soon.

I am filled to the brim with love and inspiration - but am cold, and in pain and tired. Time for a shower and then to curl up with fleur_du_soir to watch a movie with him and madame_red_au.

Also, special love to both girliejones and redbraids who brought me coffee on saturday and sunday respectively - so beautiful and awesome a thought, I'm truly touched, and truly feel the love.

Where am I? home Feeling... loving, loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # activism, amazing friends, conventions, femmeconne, moments to remember, organising, women

* I have baked a storm this weekend. Pavlova for dessert soon :) Apple muffins for during the week. And I made a roast pork with roasted veggies for fleur_du_soir the other night - and for the first time ever my crackling came out perfect! :)

* Wonderful night of dancing, unlike last week, this week at the Court, was everything that I love about going there. People enjoying one another and dancing and having fun. Also, there were several instances where I could only remark about there being something about my blood. I need to distil and sell it.

* murg is both adorable, and the perfect host - he was just so much fun to go out with and I am glad to have gone out with him - it really made the night. I would love to spend more time, and I love that there are several tentative instances to do so.

* ascetic_hedony was also awesome company - as always, I have nothing new to add here, because really? Sublime.

* Slept in till 11am, have managed to meander through most of the day. Didn't end up at the Murdoch Open day - despite how much I wanted too... just a bit too hard to leave the house. I did however make the much promised pavlova for K, who gives me eyes of devotion every time he looks at it :)

* Have not studied ---> I fail at adulthood. Plans to rectify this week especially as I have to interview someone for the next piece I have due. On that note, must serve dessert then curl up with lectures. Readings I can do on the train/bus - lectures not so much if I want to take notes.

* I am pleasantly sore from dancing so much. I also felt like some sort of magnificent and attractive creature last night, partly because murg's make up talent is understated, and partly because he and ascetic_hedony are such good company, and partly cos apparently my body decided that last night we could dance. So many lovely lovely people I danced with and appreciated their sweetness, friendliness and definitely the hotness. There was one guy who asked for my phone number because I complimented his voice (specifically his voice and not his scots accent), and there were a couple that had the most beautiful smiles between them and yeah... a lesbian who stopped me to kiss my cheek and compliment my appearance, So am surprised and also feeling like there were many moments to remember.

* Still have yet to do more than prelim work on Femmeconne program, but have got the basic idea down. Need to trawl the lj and dig up stuff that didn't happen last year and what people have already suggested and offered to do etc :)

* Also have to do a mail out of PR1, which was meant to happen ages ago but because I was sick the night we planned to do it, it didn't happen and has been forgotten till now.

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, cooking, dancing, femmeconne, moments to remember, sensuality, social, uni

Somehow...

http://e-dan.livejournal.com/16908.html

*is still fallen over*

Where am I? home Feeling... amazed Compelled listening... nil Define... # moments to remember, poetry, self, uni

And they appreciated me back.

I had my belated day off today, and it was actually a day off. I slept in. I stayed in bed with my internets. This was my first real opportunity to enjoy them properly since we got broadband. It's making me very happy.

I got up for breakfast at some point, but then returned to bed, and an accidental nap.

I dragged myself out of bed at half three to catch a bus to Carousel and do some grocery shopping (cooking for emma_in_oz) and then to meet TR and catch up.

I really enjoyed it, it was a lovely catch up and the conversation was great, there were hugs - there always is and just baiting and circling and amusing ourselves chatting. Wedges and coffee *cokespray* that's going to keep me going for a while.

Last night I finished work late, and then met cupidsbow. I've decided not to go back to e'Cucina because when I rang them to ask them to pass on a message that I was late to cupidsbow for me, they didn't - even though they looked right at her during the call! I'd already sms'd and stuff but wanted to make sure as I know just how few of my wonderful friends are as attached to their phones as myself (very few), thus I have contingencies such as calling the restaurant. They fail.

Not just cos of this. They're also expensive - their desserts specifically. If I'm paying $14 for a dessert, then it should be spectacular. The dessert I had with cricketk was nice but... not spectacular. In contrast, I sometimes go to Globe at the Hilton for a 'Dessert Lunch' and they have desserts for $7.50, and they have an amazing dessert chef... at which point it's just not good enough. e'Cucina has a number of things going for it, but the cost and the not exceptional food isn't enough to cover it, especially after the message thing. I'll drag you all to Globe instead, especially if it's the kind of meeting where dessert should be involved :P

Hey, ascetic_hedony, juffy - dessert lunch next week?

Back on track.. e'Cucina aside, it was wonderful to see cupidsbow and I really enjoyed the discussions and the catching up, and given how busy she is we could have been counting roof tiles and I still would have loved it, if it involved catching up with her. Yes, I am sometimes that easy to please. We had a decent dinner at Sasellas, though nothing special.

Right now I feel like I need another couple of days off... everything has been so full on, so flat out and there have been at least a couple of life changing experiences in the past three weeks... I haven't had time to process and am still thinking my way through things.

Which is also why I haven't yet done a proper con report for Supanova. (Which is my 4th con in Perth this year, of the 6 I plan on attending.)

babalon_93 will be here next week and I can't wait to see her!! I'm going to the femmeconne planning meeting and dinner at the Ninniku Jap next week to get in as much catch up and contributing to the con this year that I can.

I feel like right now that the words aren't really saying what I want them to say. I feel intense and thoughtful and.... deeply wanting but whatever it is, it's slightly out of my grasp, or perception and I can't quite figure it out.

The brilliant thing about yesterday was also that my Special Edition Darren Hayes DVD arrived - it's the concert DVD of the Time Machine Tour that I went to last year, was front row centre in and also got to meet Darren. It was incredible revisiting that experience and I'm once again struck by how amazingly well put together the concert was etc... I have especial love for babalon_93, callistra and black_samvara who understood the happy I was gushing about and especially Babalon who was interested in what kind of music he wsa producing now since Savage Garden. *hugs the shiny*

*hugs the DVD*

Okay, book, then bed and sleep. I need cuddles. Luckily my beloved is here and can save me from lack of hugs :P I have a meme to answer and then repost - that will be tomorrow. As will my personal statement finalisation.

Where am I? home Feeling... thoughtful Compelled listening... "Picture Postcards from LA" - Joshua Kadison Define... # amazing friends, changing the world, darren hayes, fandom, general, moments to remember, self reflection, thoughts

It's done, and dusted and over. Wow. I had one of the most amazing weekends of my life.

I spent time with a woman who has changed the world, made it a better place. I spent time with another woman who gave up the opportunity to appear at the final wrap party for the series she's been involved with, in order to be here in Australia.

And if that wasn't shiny enough... I met the people who put the supanova event together. I met the Joffre Street guys who do Cool Shite, I adored catching up with mdep again - it's always too long between chats! Also, this is the best chance we've had for catching up since I had her over here for Fandomedia :) I met F and M who are just amazing as far as guest managers go, and hot damn I aspire to be like them.

I caught up with Jennifer Fallon again and really enjoyed chatting to her - and the hugs. She gives good hug. Met her Secondborn and dearly enjoyed the conversation and company... it was all just freaking amazing. I finally met DZ the event director, his best friend and right hand, various others of his family members - all there helping out, making it run, and it was so awesome! He was so awesome! I'm so deeply pleased to have been able to put a face to the name, and enjoy seeing him do his thing, and do it well. So very well.

Perth Supanova rocked. We had more people through the door here than in Melbourne :) Also, it's not a once off - they're committed to coming back. They're pairing the line up of guests with the Sydney event which makes the break even a whole lot easier to reach as far as these things go.

I'm amused that Perth Convention Centre continues to price itself out of the market.

It was a great event and it was an incredible experience to see some of the way it works - I'd love to be more involved as a volunteer, it was amazing. It's also totally different to Swancon, it does different things, and there's a great crossover, but it's never going to be a replacement and they're not interested in doing that - they want to work with everyone, and have a community where everyone gets ahead, everyone benefits. It's not lip service either, I saw it in action.

Bring on Supanova 2009! I am so very there!

I learned so much that I hope to apply to Swancon as well, just minute things, comparison things, ideas and approach and appeal. It'll be interesting and very cool to debrief with my committee.

I'm too tired to gush any more, but if you thought it was all about the commercial side, then you'd be mostly wrong, because there is a bottom line element to it - you can't bring A list guests to Australia and not be thinking of it on some level.

But there is a whole lot more, it's a family run business, they're real people and they keep it down to earth and accessible and interesting - something different, and a little bit of something for everyone, also what an awesome array of sellers from over east coming over to Perth! Lots of new and interesting stuff I haven't seen before, and wished I had more spending money to appreciate.

As it was my overspending on budget went to photos, a portrait with Nichelle Nichols, and autograph - because having the opportunity to freeze a moment in time with a woman who is so deeply amazing, utterly worthwhile. So inspiring. And one with Kandyse Mcclure - because she's a darling person and she's become utterly smitten by Australia and Perth. I can buy 'stuff' any time, but something to remember to very special women by... you can't just make that appear out of thin air, and I never want to forget those moments shared, and all the things I wonder and hope for and want to do, pouring forth.

My beloved was in the cosplay and came runner up in the best individual overall section, which was incredible! He looked so pretty and was obviously having the most amazing time (while I was running around doing all of the above). I'm so proud of him!

I spent heaps of time with the Swancon stall, and we had great success in talking to people and getting the word out there, I am feeling fairly confident that we'll get some very positive results out of it. Now to collate all the mass of the information we received.

Also, kathrynlinge is worth a mountain of gold - the fliers and posters were spectacular hon, and you utterly deserve eleventy billion internets for doing such an amazing job! People were impressed and drawn to them and I can't stop looking at them! I think they'll be totally worth the cost of printing - even if that's wince worthy right this second. Many thanks to the amazing 2009 committee for weathering colds and honeymoon take offs in order to sit the desk and put Swancon out there to the Perth masses :)

Where am I? home Feeling... enthralled Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, amazing people, events, fandom, inspiring, moments to remember, sc2009, supanova, swancon, transcending

But you'll have to forgive me that... it's been an extraordinary day.

I was at Supanova talking about Swancon and stuffs, lots of people, cruisy and an enjoyable day. Networked my little heart out with people that I've met before people they introduced me to, had drinks with a rfriend and an awesome ex-Fandomedia guest of mine, and then the unexpected happened and I go to go out with several awesome people from the event, and some of the guests and party with them for a while. It was awesome, and I'm still grateful in a way that I can't quite articulate. My beloved kae_dash was very very pretty today, and will be in the cosplay tomorrow :) Should be spectacular! I did also make it past madradish's party in the end - a little unexpectedly, but I was pleased to see those who were still there. All my cleavage appreciation goes to madradish and splanky!

More Supanova tomorrow - looking forward to it. Especially more time chatting with M and F if possible, as they are event coordinating moguls! (or something to that effect).

Now, I sleep. I realise that this is far shorter than it deserves, but I have no brain power for more right now.

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, events, moments to remember, supanova

In fine form of other 'traditions' it happened twice :P

Went up to callistra and cheshirenoir's house for dinner. Calli wibbled about the afternoon, so I offered to cook for her.

I cooked the Beef and Blueberry Stew that dormant_dragon made last year. Recipe: http://dormant-dragon.livejournal.com/95266.html

Still such an awesome dish - and huge props to dormant_dragon for it's creation! I really have to make it more often.

Those I cooked for also enjoyed it - which was the aim. Also, I seem to have picked a merlot that I could actually drink *boggle* - I've had a wishful relationship with red wine for years, mostly with the not being able to appreciate it. I used the Wolfblass 'Eaglehawk' Merlot. I also used a can of blueberries, instead of the dried ones, as I couldn't find any. I also short cut the process by using rump, and cooked it faster, simmered it for maybe half an hour or so at most, so there's room to move in the recipe :)

I served it with potato and pumpkin mash and sweet buttery corn as suggested by dormant_dragon mainly cos I decided what to cook in under five minutes, and ran out to buy stuff to meet Chesh at the train on time. Mash is essential for the recipe - it's just a perfect accompaniment, but the other veggie has distinct variation possibilities :)

We then watched 'Scrubs' *grins* I believe I have them hooked, after dr_k and sarren got me hooked by their enthusing over it wildly.

So now Monday nights seems to be dinner and Scrubs. Works for me :) K has training on that night so dinner is always a bit weird - this means it's less weird at least for me, and I get to spend regular quality time with Calli and Chesh and their childrens :)

Tomorrow looks to be Doctor Who 4.02 with black_samvara and maharetr which will be wonderful because this new season is just made of win.

I also kicked Visio ass in my job today and impressed managers lots! And will impress my director when I show him my documents. I have to give most of the glee to black_samvara who took my very rough draft and identified that what I actually wanted was a cross functional flow chart, not an ordinary flow chart - and as usual, she was right.

I <3 her so much - thanks to her I've pin pointed the bits of things that are the starting points for fixing the broken processes, and putting better ones in place that meet the requirements of what it is the government is supposed to be doing with OSS now on the scene :P

I also realise that I have yet to finish my Swancon posts - I have Sunday and Monday to go, and a Ditmar/Tin Duck/Awards wind up to do. I may do a post about stuff that interested me discussion wise in the aftermath of this year's con, but most people have moved on, and I don't think I have much to say that is worth restarting it all over again.

Where am I? home Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, cooking, doctor who, food, moments to remember, organising, recipe, scrubs, work

* Did house stuff of necessity.

* Meandered off to games day - got to Mt Claremont successfully, Montgomery Rd was slightly off putting by its complete lack of street numbers!.

* I played Vikings with mikey_ob and a lovely couple - one of whom won! I love that game so much!! VEEPLES! *joy*

* I learned a new game 'Ticket to Ride' which I enjoyed very much, and played with rdmasters, leecetheartist, artisanat, ariaflame and one other. Didn't lose - which was unexpected and awesome.

* Would like to own both games.

* Got lovely hugs from angriest, and gave him extras for lie_xin *joy*

* Experienced Ayame *joy*

* Met my beloved in Northbridge where we went to our favourite restaurant 'The New Orleans' for an impulsive anniversary celebration (we had planned to go out Monday on our actual anniversary).

* We toasted to our 'eleventy first' being a month after our 11th anniversary together, and 1st of being engaged. (I like these little pauses to remember things - also days marked like this mean that I get to be as soppy as I want and K doens't mind - he is usually reciprocally soppy, which is adorabubble!

* We ate -far- too much, and taxi'd home. It was a wonderful and easy, relaxed and loving celebration - holding hands and sharing an entree (K doesn't like to share his food :P) Just all those tiny things that make me ecstatic.

* We plan to take amarillion and prk there for (last year's) birthday dinner RSN. We also want to take redbraids and mikey_ob there. (Did I mention that I love this restaurant?)

* BBQ tomorrow!! Can't wait to see you all and have the yummy food that I am helping agoodliedown to make tomorrow morning. She's done an immense amount of work for this event, especially considering the deadline of doom threatening.

* Am sitting here in a state of happiness, quite literally feeling joyful. About to go to bed and snuggle K (who has zonked having worked a long day from stupid o'clock).

This feeling of joy is quite odd, given the reaction my previous post provoked in.

Where am I? home Feeling... loved Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing friends, amour, anniversary, bbq, dining out, games, joy, k, moments to remember, sc2009, shiny, social, swancon

K just called me, for no reason, just to say 'hi' and see how my day was.

This is something I often do to him, but he doesn't usually have time to return it (or is busy during what breaks he has).

But he called me when he was having lunch, and it just makes me smile and feel special :)

It makes the day just a little bit better.

A glass of wine later will help that even more.

Where am I? DPC Feeling... cheerful Compelled listening... nil Define... # intimacy, k, moments to remember, surprises

* Our anniversary was lovely.... both K and I have been so busy lately that staying home, together by ourselves, and doing pretty much nothing was bliss. We're planning something bigger for our first engagement anniversary. Thank you to everyone who wished us well, it really made the day for us both in a number of ways :)

* Work is busy and same/same - still not a project role, that's going to take a long time. Also apparently while we're using the CUA contracts we're supposed to, there may not have been anything resembling application of buying rules.

* Read Book 1 of Jennifer Fallon's Tide Lords series "The Immortal Prince" tore through it much the way I have with the rest of her stuff. Loving it.

* Am now reading "Cybermancy"> by Kelly McCullough - I've been waiting for this second book for ages!! Urban fantasy at it's best, near future, or earth like setting, fate mythology and magic crossed with web and online tech-geekery. Just awesome. I don't have words for how much I love the combination of reference to binary and the fate myths in the same sentence.

* Had coffee today with redbraids and rabbit1080 which was awesome, we talked about art, study and about discoveries and to a small degree, weddings. I have big dilemas that I have no idea how to fix. Logistical/Heart/Reality dilemas. Not that this is a problem for ages.

* Looking forward to my Swancon meeting tomorrow, because I love my committee that much! They are awesome!

* Can't wait for Supanova in Perth. Just. Can't. Wait. Though probably not for any of the reasons that the rest of you may be looking forward to it.

* I'm getting hyped about Swancon! I was afraid it wouldn't happen given all the stuff that's been going on and the sheer amount of work I've been putting in for someone not actually on the 2008 committee, and yet, it's all coming together!! I am looking forward to getting my schedule of panels and stuff as I think that I will be fairly tightly planned social and all this time around!! So much to do, so many people that I've promised time to! I can't wait.

* Transperth dropped the ball as you may have heard, it hasn't affected me drastically, but has been a little bit inconvenient. It did mess things up a lot for madradish and kae_dash however.

* One of my friends outside of the fannish circles in Perth graduated from her course today - I believe it was an additional qualification after her initial degree, but not Masters, she's still planning on that. We share little in common, and yet have a great deal of respect for the different ways in which we move through the world - it's one of the things I find most dear about her, and would that all people passionate in their faith or job, or vocation were like her. My choices are at fundamental odds with the choices she has made - and yet, there is never a time when I feel lesser, unworthy, judged or found wanting by her. I value that so much, and wish more people had it.

* editormum mentioned me a few times in her Spec Fic carnival which was cool but a little surprising!

* I'm looking into ADSL2 and am dismayed by the cost! I need to get my head around the stuff that doesn't make sense, which will involve a number of painful phonecalls while I explain Stuff and ask Questions.

No, not really a lot going on here... I had a day that was actually a weekend day with little 'work' featured.

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... Nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, books, general, jennifer fallon, kelly mccullough, moments to remember, work

* The day went well, work was productive and busy, all the Swancon stuff I meant to get done, didn't. Nor tonight either, but tomorrow it will be done.

* Friday night was the re-energising, wonderful company and people to share my enthusiasm with over recent wins.

* There were several deep and interesting conversations on various topics including:

- engaging in communication, whether acknowledging distress is the automatic taking on of fault acceptance.
- papparazzi and their plague of people who still have the right to be treated as humans and have their private lives not made into a joke or something news worthy every time they fart. This further went into the hipocrasy of those who rail against this happening, and yet buy the magazines that pay the papparazzi to do this.
- styles of email and styles of communication in general via various mediums
- weddings and planning and organisation

It was a great night and it was the balm I look for as always. So. Much. Love. (I need an icon for Friday nights expressing my love and joy in you all who are part of that).

* Tomorrow I have to pay off my bridesmaid outfit, and I also have to do a bunch of Swancon stuff that actual work prevented me doing. The only thing that is truly what I wish to have already finished is the Tin Duck Ballot, but really, things happen and it's really not the end of the world, however much it irritates me.

* Tomorrow I also plan to head to Exomod to do said Swancon stuff in the ambience of good coffee, and broadband, while watching my beloved strut his stuff :) This may change however as being at home and not having to be in a state to receive visitors is VERY appealing.

* Last but not least, I have a birthday party to go to. Must organise logistics of this with K somehow - he's working tomorrow which will push his timeframe out by at least an hour, and that's a very optimistic answer, given he works from stupid o'clock in the morning till 5pm. We shall see how things go.

And now, bed, becuase sleep is far more productive right now than blinking at the screen trying to make sense of things and apply focus, and logic and reason!

Oh I had a moment of logic tonight - black_samvara mentioned that people are far less likely to be beaton by a stranger, I commented that I didn't want to be one of that minority, and further commented that I also didn't want to be part of that majority that were beaten by someone they know, and that I far preferred to be a person who wasn't subjected to beating at all. Who'd have thought?

Where am I? home Feeling... exhausted Compelled listening... nil Define... # amazing conversations, amazing friends, awards, coffee, exomod, friday night, logic, moments to remember, swancon, tin ducks, work

Today has been a great day for the most part - some parts definitely better than others. ( Rather long, but several chunks of information including the ditmar vortex, WA on Show and forays into study as consideration for myself. )

Wow... this got long. No apologies though... this is part of who I am, and being able to detail things here actually serves far more purpose than simple vanity of recording, or some misguided idea that people read what I write. It's for me. It connects me back to things that I don't wish to forget, things that I consider important, or may consider important in the future.

The downside of having had to deal with regressed memories, is that my mind still gets overzealous in protecting me sometimes, and there are things that I just don't wish to forget the words and feelings that were on the tip of my tongue at that given moment.

Where am I? House of Books and Ducks Feeling... excited Compelled listening... nil Define... # 2008, 2009, amazing friends, assertiveness, awards, convictions, ditmars, feminism, moments to remember, murdoch, perth city events, sadness, study, swancon, trust, women

At the very least, it will be of very low concentration - promise!

First of all I have to mention the most beautiful and unexpected gift from cricketk. She has given me this exquisite piece of jewellery on pretty ribbons, it is glass that is clear, and black and purple and sparkly and seems to be embedded with something that sometimes in my mind resembles a rose, and other times a fossil. It's amazing and I'm utterly touched by the gift and love it to pieces! What was also unexpectedly heartwarming was that juffles decided to cycle his way up to give it to me for her... there was conversation and much in the way of watering, before he headed off home again (sacrificing keys in the process). It is one of those things that just has just made it for me - I don't have a time period to offer, I'm just so amazed and touched by it. Thank you, thank you, thank you again cricketk - I really don't have the words.

I was meant to be catching up with e_dan before he headed off to Melbourne, and while our original plans fell through, we did catch up briefly for dinner with madradish on Wednesday night. I made redbraids easy peasy bbq pork recipe with some pork belly and accompanied by salad for dinner. It was unfortunately still too hot to really be eating.

Thursday was the night I took entirely OFF from fannish commitments. I caught up with livelurker while we waited for syncretin to join us. Following that _fustian and wildilocks turned up, and we fled the Belgian for the airconditioned comfort of the Moon and Sixpence. Later shrydar turned up as well as three others that I don't have appropriate tags for. It was a gorgeous evening of conversation, relaxed and just... easy. Meandered, is a good word. Arguably the most fun of the night was the baileys and lemon juice cement mixer that syncretin decided to try after being told of it's potential uses - highly amusing. No I didn't try the concoction - I was happy to accept that three of those at the table agreed that it tasted like vomit.

Arrived home at the sensible* hour of midnight. Checked email quickly, found that a certain google grouplist hadn't exploded while my back was turned :P Went to bed before 1am.

The working week has been good - I'm slowly finding my feet and getting the hang of things. The job is very busy and I'm hoping to alleviate some of that by improving some of the admin systems, but it will be slow going for a while, and really some things will just be a hard slog till after the new financial year.

There is the WA on Show event this weekend, including free public transport Perth wide on Sunday 2nd March! There are several presentations/stall things put forward by the GLBTI community - I'm hoping to get down there on Sunday - anyone want to meet up and wander through with me?

This afternoon I have managed to snaffle the lovely cupidsbow for coffee, we're discussing our OTW panel (anyone want to join us for this at Swancon?) and also so that I can learn how to construct a water tight argument. (somethings are important enough to me right now to do it right, and not leave it to chance.)

Later there will be the wonderful company of my usual Friday night companions (I keep feeling we need another name other than 'Friday Night'), and I can't wait! It's still a highlight of my week over a year and a half later - we're coming up close to 2 years actually I imagine. I am also hoping that prk may be able to take me out for another driving lesson :)

Now, to get some more work done so that I can catch up with lady_niav for lunch :)

Tomorrow my loose plan is the laptop, Exomod, coffee, aircon and shuffling through the Tin Duck nominations to get the short list together, and possibly tackling my report for the business meeting and also look at starting my proposal for the business meeting.

( Paragraph on awards stuff for those who wish to skip it )

Oh last thing - I'm interested in seeing Tina Cousins at the Court on Sunday... anyone else remotely interested? (No eye rolling, it's not Roxette nor Darren Hayes so be thankful!)



*Bedtime of late has been post 1.30am because I've been that damned busy

Where am I? DPC Feeling... and busy!!! Compelled listening... "I like the way" - The Bodyrockers Define... # 2008, amazing conversations, amazing friends, awards, coffee, concerts, ditmars, friday night, general, gifts, intimacy, moments to remember, music, social, swancon, tin ducks, update

I think that I have more surety that I want to do this, and more so that both K and I can do it, can do a good job at it... K as a Daddy, wow - to think of it, I'm quite awed by the thought.

I also now have a better idea of what it can be like as a parent - just a bit, not an entirety but a bit more solid understanding of reality versus the storybook.

I'm incredibly grateful to callistra, cheshirenoir and babalon_93 for the chance to learn and experience so much - it was truly amazing and one of the stand out experiences of my life.

More on this later - I have a major blog post brewing based on my thoughts on being a pseudo-mum for just over a week.

Where am I? Home Sweet Home :) Feeling... thankful Compelled listening... K in the background - I've missed the sound :) Define... # babies, experiences, moments to remember, thoughts, transcending, women

Went to e_dan's birthday - met L, who is gorgeous, and so -in- everything she does. Utterly awesome to meet her. Danced for a while despite sore feet to awesome music that because I almost never hear that kind of style, I adored and had a ball. Sat and chatted with people, managed not to make a fool of myself talking about the concert. Which isn't to say that I didn't talk about it, just that I didn't make a fool of myself (yesterday was a fool free day), I was so happy, and so was everyone else, and we were all just enjoying being in the happy and sharing it. Wonderful!!

Much conversation was had while under the Red Blanket of Cosyness, with L who was kind enough to share with me - and a glass of sparkling shiraz. There was something about Basil Brush in a Burqha there, and also The Octopus from the City of Lost Children mentioned as at times we seemed to operate like siamese twins :P

R was improbable and funny - full of life and it was great to converse with him more :)


The night ended just after 3am and it was all kinds of wonderful. Just amazing.


Now all I have to do is meet Per and Marie from Roxette. *grin*

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # conversation, dancing, moments to remember, parties, sensual overload, social

Not Cut cos I'm so ecstatic :)



Everything I could possibly have wanted, it was, and then some.

* The soundcheck was exra long - previewing the sets and setup was awesome! Also, surprisingly not many spoilers for the concert :P

* Meet and Greet... He was warm and funny and very very personable, casual and informal. There were five of us in the dressing room, and we chatted, each had a photo, and chatted through that, got our bits signed, and chatted through that... you get the idea. It was lovely... In my photo, I make him look tall :P - which he's not, and yet still leant over to cuddle me for the picture :)

* The pre concert reception was held at the Allure bar in Burswood - gorgeous venue, think I'll have to go back sometime. We got drinks vouchers, and there was plates of food, plus it was hosted by Darren's sister and Mum, who work for him organising all of the fanclub activities and stuff. Both were lovely people, with the patience of saints and it was clear that a lot of love goes into their hard work.

* The other VIP's were lovely, not an over dramatic one between us all, nor anyone completely over the top in their fanaticism. I got the sense that these people at least in Perth have done this all before and know how to have a really good time and not let the fact that it's their favourite singer send their head into a spin. I really enjoyed meeting them and was ecstatic to be one of them this time around!

* My VIP package was $230 American. It included, a guaranteed seat in the first five rows, access to the sound check, the pre concert reception, and a goodie bag - with an actual over the shoulder satchel bag, which also had a deck of cards(?), a leather style 2008 planner(!), and a USB flashkey! Not to mention a signed tourbook :) Way to go for the practical...!!

* The concert was everything I'd hoped and dreamed for, plus my seat, where I sat/stood, bounced around was in the VERY FRONT ROW and even better RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE! Many of you will know about my paranoia for where I sit in things like this - the allocation of seats to the VIP's is completely random, so to have that come up for me - WOW!!!!

The set was brilliantly designed - simple and multi-purpose. There was a huge screen with a triangle in the centre, not a single piece, and they projected onto it throughout the concert, there was a bridge that looked like something out o fa HG Wells style sketch. Brilliant concert design, the expertise of Willie Williams and Darren's own creative flair really shows.

The play list was brilliantly thought out - stuff from the new album, but peppered with things from other concerts and even a couple from Savage Garden days. This is also where I'm going to note, that Darren has the kind of voice that you would question how good it would be live - and trust me, it's even more incredible. It sounds just as clear and gorgeous as it does on any recording, and what you get in person is the body language and the expressions - the emotion that he's feeding into it all and it just amplifies the entire effect so that it ripples across the concert.

I usually find that what cements a cd for me is the concert if I can go - all the extra information, like watching the director's cut or the deleted scenes on a dvd... just that extra oomph that moves it from extraordinary to utterly mind blowing.

Also, the concert went for 3 hours, with Darren singing for over 2 hours. Plus, his backup singers, especially Anna Marie Spirina (name from remembrance, need to check spelling) who was just incredible, and I believe who has sung with him before. But then finding singers that blend well with his voice I imagine is quite difficult... in any case, they and the band especially Justin Shave were awesome. Justin Shave is the music genius working with Darren on the sounds of the music, and he was dancing on stage with Darren with a hand held keyboard!!! Like an 80's revolution I tell you :)

Okay, I'm done now. But just to reiterate - my night was PERFECT.


(it didn't end after the concert but that's another post)>

Where am I? home Feeling... ecstatic Compelled listening... nil Define... # concert, darren hayes, fandom, moments to remember, sensual overload

Highs:

* Weekend and thus no work (others are doing overtime, and i'm fully engaged in non-cooperative behaviour)
* Sleeping in (see previous comment)
* Getting dressed up for the ballet
* Getting a new make up look right - including use of red
* Wearing high heels for the first time in ages
* Lunch with gorgeous friends, good company and high spirited, and just... wow, i'm so lucky :)
* Coffee and chocolate mousse cake (*swoon*) with shrydar and geeky-j (newly designated pseudonym as a means of individual and unique identification)
* Getting special hugs from one of my closest friends in the world, and just laughing for sheer joy of it.
* Being more dressed up than K (and equally as pretty!)
* Photos with K, and me actually looking good in them!


Lows:

* Swan Lake performance cancelled due to a stage problem
* Queuing, phoning, failing at phoning, queuing again, and not getting quite as good seats as I'd worked really hard to get the first time
* Extra *hugs* for purrdence as it was her and drhoz' anniversary present, and also purrdence's birthday present, so the disappointment is more tangible.
* Queuing in high heels = sore feet


All in all? A win.

Still, disappointed to not see the performance - it was what I was holding onto, to get through the week. Which, really - was hellish. Hoping against all hope that it's a better week next week. although given the websites go live, i doubt it :P Although, maybe I'll just get to be amused while everything breaks :P (IT manager was ranting about not having been given any time to test prod on the new server equipment - so he fully expects it to fall in a heap come go-live :P )

Still job hunting. Still working on selection criteria. Still feeling down about the whole thing.

Blah.

Have been watching Roxette video clips all afternoon, old ones and new ones, including some rare footage of a famously sold out concert in a ruined castle in Sweden. Gorgeous. Strange to be watching VHS though :P It's been so long.

Last night will get a post too, it will get its own though, despite being out of chronological order. It was all kinds of cool, in a number of ways, and not just cos I fell in love-friendship with black_samvara all over again. Post will include details of me being successfully, and deliberately funny (without use of clumsiness or slapstick) :)

I hear others are going out to Sin tonight - not me, or K, we're staying home and being quiet and comfortable and stuff :) It's nice :)

Oh, and one last thing - prk is all kinds of organised, and has impressed me with his leet skillz once again. Plus he's one of my closest friends in the world, and I adore him lotses.

Where am I? home Feeling... tired Compelled listening... "Real Sugar" - Roxette Define... # dressing up, lunches, moments to remember, social, swan lake